ONTD Political

Republicans Consider Welcoming People Who Believe in Math & Science

9:54 pm - 11/08/2012
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Opting for a bold “big tent” strategy to rebuild the party, Reince Priebus, the chairman of the Republican National Committee, told reporters today, “We need to welcome people who believe in different things than we do, like math and science.”

After disappointing results in Tuesday’s election, Mr. Priebus said that it was time for Republicans to become “more tolerant of those with a math-and-science lifestyle.”

“Just because we don’t believe in those things doesn’t mean we can’t get along with people who do,” he said. “We want to send this message: math and science Americans are Americans, too.”

In the biggest departure from its previous electoral strategy, Mr. Priebus said, the Republican Party is “even considering trying to appeal to women.”

“I read recently that women are as much as fifty-one per cent of the population,” he said. “That number sounded crazy high to me, but maybe one of our new math Republicans can check on it for us.”

Read more http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2012/11/republicans-consider-welcoming-people-who-believe-in-math-and-science.html#ixzz2Bh5p6NB1


Source
deevee45 9th-Nov-2012 04:03 am (UTC)
Are you sure this is not The Onion??
crooked_halo 9th-Nov-2012 04:05 am (UTC)
LOL, I thought the same thing! It is satire though. Flawless satire!
romp 9th-Nov-2012 07:34 am (UTC)
We need a Borowitz Report is Like The Onion tag.
emofordino 9th-Nov-2012 12:00 pm (UTC)
After the second paragraph I had to scroll down to the bottom to check the source because I figured it HAD to be the Onion. How depressing.
wrestlingdog 9th-Nov-2012 02:46 pm (UTC)
TBF, it's the Borowitz Report, which is another satirical news site.
layweed 9th-Nov-2012 04:03 am (UTC)
srs though, how is Rincewind Prius still in a job? is he gonna get fired?
crooked_halo 9th-Nov-2012 04:08 am (UTC)
That is a good question! I'm guessing that most Republicans are still convinced that Obama somehow 'stole' the election, so of course they don't need to change how they handle things.

Personally, I really really hope that this election call IS a wake-up call to them and makes them realize that holy crap, women, gay people, black people, and latinos ALL vote and are capable of reading and understanding things that are being said about them. Total shocker, right?
layweed 9th-Nov-2012 04:18 am (UTC)
Tbh, I can't decide whether Republicans will:

A) Wake up their idea and realize that their politics are way too conservative and make an attempt to move to the center and pick up those alienated groups of voters (women, gays, minorities, etc), and actually try working with Obama for the next 4 years instead of being obstructionist assholes.

or

B) Somehow come to the conclusion that the reason they lost was because they weren't conservative enough and go further off to the right and continue to be obstructionist and completely fly in the face of all reason. Basically go so far right they fall off a cliff and no one hears from them ever again.

tbh with the way the last four years have gone, I really don't count on A happening. You can't stop the kind of hate and vitriol Republicans have been spewing the last 4 years on a dime and reverse course. I dunno. Like I'm optimistic because Obama won and not Romney, but I'm not counting on things getting much better as far as the polarization of politics is concerned.
teacoat 9th-Nov-2012 04:29 am (UTC)
Or maybe Democrats will become the new Republicans and the Green party will become the new Democrats

teacoat 9th-Nov-2012 05:24 pm (UTC)
Whoops, sorry. There was supposed to be a gif there but it didn't get posted, haha.
crooked_halo 9th-Nov-2012 04:30 am (UTC)
Ooh, I hope you're right! I would love to see a multi-party system. I think the two-party system is very broken and divisive and I would like to see more options.

crooked_halo 9th-Nov-2012 04:28 am (UTC)
I fear B. I really do. I feel like becoming MORE conservative was their reaction to the 2008 election. But I really hope that A is what ends up happening.
romp 9th-Nov-2012 07:37 am (UTC)
Both will happen. Most likely prediction I've heard is that when the Repubs lose in 2016, they'll cut their ties with the Tea Party/Evangelicals and go back to being a fiscally conservative but respectable party. And the Tea Party will be a fringe far-right group as they were meant to be.
mokie 11th-Nov-2012 01:06 pm (UTC)
C) Realize women, gay people, black people and latinos all vote and think to themselves, "We've really got to put a stop to that."
teacoat 9th-Nov-2012 04:27 am (UTC)
Personally, I really really hope that this election call IS a wake-up call to them and makes them realize that holy crap, women, gay people, black people, and latinos ALL vote and are capable of reading and understanding things that are being said about them.

I would much rather they keep trying the same old shit and lose every election from now until the end of forever.

Edited at 2012-11-09 04:27 am (UTC)
crooked_halo 9th-Nov-2012 04:32 am (UTC)
Love this comment.

Of course, the trouble is that this election was still too close for comfort, and they still did win some states, even with all of dumb shit that they were saying. This makes me really disappointed in the American public, but it is what it is.
mirhanda 9th-Nov-2012 05:11 pm (UTC)
I'd like to see their party completely fall apart, opening the door for a truly left wing party to step in and let the dems be the right wing.
jenny_jenkins 9th-Nov-2012 04:49 am (UTC)
Like many others, I thought that was a legit quote.
shhh_its_s3cr3t 9th-Nov-2012 06:12 am (UTC)
Waaaaay to dash my hopes. I was all happy until I got the satire tag. :(
hinoema 9th-Nov-2012 07:17 am (UTC)
Yeah, yeah. They were saying that last time, too, and we know how long it lasted then. (The big tent thing, not the math and science thing. I expect to hear 'big tent' talk soon.)

Edited at 2012-11-09 07:19 am (UTC)
pretty_angel 9th-Nov-2012 07:49 am (UTC)
The next goal for the Republicans should be becoming sane enough so that satire articles about them can't easily be mistaken for the real thing. lol
moonbladem 9th-Nov-2012 10:11 am (UTC)
IA.
tinylegacies 9th-Nov-2012 12:51 pm (UTC)
lol seriously
moonbladem 9th-Nov-2012 10:10 am (UTC)
In the biggest departure from its previous electoral strategy, Mr. Priebus said, the Republican Party is “even considering trying to appeal to women.”

That's exactly where I began to suspect this was satire LOL!
window_girl 9th-Nov-2012 02:40 pm (UTC)
Last line made me laugh so hard.

Thanks for a nice morning chuckle, OP.

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