ONTD Political

Dan Savage bakes big batch of ally cookies

9:40 pm - 11/16/2012
Dan Savage Thanks Straight Allies For Gay Marriage Support

Dan Savage, creator of the It Gets Better campaign, launched a new website to thank straight allies of the LGBT community for supporting marriage equality according to Gay Star News.

"Last week on my blog, I floated the idea of having a big party for all the straight people who came through for us in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, and Washington State," Savage wrote. "But all those straight people wouldn't fit in a single ballroom. But we can fit them on a single Tumblr page."

And so began, "Straight Up Thanks," a photo site dedicated to all the straight allies who supported equal marriage rights in the elections.

The 2012 elections were historic for the LGBT community in many ways, and marriage equality was certainly a major victory particularly in Maine, Maryland, and Washington.

According to an ABC News-Washington Post poll, 51 percent of all Americans support gay marriage. Though some still fight on against gay marriage, this the fifth poll since March of 2011 that says a majority of Americans support marriage equality.

Savage, for one, feels optimistic that the tide won't reverse the other way anytime soon, especially since the LGBT community has such strong allies.

"I know so many straight people in Washington State, where I live, who worked unbelievably hard on the campaign to win marriage equality for their gay and lesbian friends, family members, and neighbors. I know straight people in all four states who voted, gave money, worked phone banks, and knocked on doors -- all in an effort to make it possible for same-sex couples to marry."

And for that he says, Thank You.

The Huffington Post.


below the cut is the post from savage love, entitled "Thank a Breeder Day"....obviously, given the nature of savage love, the latter sections are nsfw:



Reading you over the years has absolutely changed my mind on gay marriage. I wanted to let you know that. I also live in Maryland, and, as you know, we voted last week to allow same-sex couples to legally marry. I was excited that I got to vote for marriage equality in my home state, Dan-even I agree that it's fucked up that people get to vote on the civil rights of LGBT people at all. Thanks for all your writing over the years-it's really made a difference in my love and sex life. And congrats to you and all gay people in the United States for the big wins last week in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, and Washington State.

Just Some Straight Guy


There's something I want to say about the votes—and about the voters—in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, and Washington State. But first I want to say this to all my fellow queers: We built this. The breakthroughs we saw last week, which included the election of the first openly gay person to the United States Senate (Wisconsin's Tammy Baldwin), we made that. LGBT people came out, fought back, and changed the world. We have a fuck of a lot left to do—repeal DOMA, pass ENDA, unfinished business with DADT (trans people are still barred from serving), defending the rights of queers around the world—but LGBT people have made tremendous progress since Stonewall. It has gotten better for us because we came out and fought to make it better. We demanded better.

Now here is what I want to say to straight people: Thank you.

I know so many straight people in Washington State, where I live, who worked unbelievably hard on the campaign to win marriage equality for their gay and lesbian friends, family members, and neighbors. I know straight people in all four states who voted, gave money, worked phone banks, and knocked on doors—all in an effort to make it possible for same-sex couples to marry.

Gays and lesbians are a tiny percentage of the population. And while we laid the groundwork for the breakthroughs we saw last week in Maine, Maryland, Washington, and Minnesota—we built this—we didn't build it on our own. The majorities in the state legislatures in Maine, Maryland, and Washington that voted to make same-sex marriage legal? Straight. The governors who signed laws making same-sex marriage legal? Straight. The overwhelming majority of people who voted in favor of marriage equality in all three states after anti-gay bigots forced public votes on our civil rights? Straight. The majority that voted against writing anti-gay bigotry into Minnesota's state constitution? Straight. And the president who took a huge political risk and came out for marriage equality before his reelection campaign? Straight. It has gotten better for us—better, not perfect—but it hasn't gotten better for us in a vacuum. It's gotten better for us because straight people have gotten better about us.

Rights are rights. They shouldn't be put up for a vote. And we shouldn't have to say "thank you" when they're recognized. The sad fact is that we have had to fight for our rights. But here's the happy fact: We didn't have to fight this one alone. Thousands and thousands of straight people stood with us and fought for us. We had help. And that's what we should thank the straight people for. Not for granting us our rights—rights are rights are rights—but for joining our fight.

Last week on my blog, I floated the idea of having a big party for all the straight people who came through for us in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, and Washington State. But all those straight people wouldn't fit in a single ballroom. But we can fit them on a single Tumblr page. Queers? If you know a straight person in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, or Washington—if you know a straight in any state or the District of Columbia—who donated money, phone-banked, went door-to-door, or took a political risk on our behalf, take your picture with that straight person, write a few words about what they did, and post it to www.straightupthanks.tumblr.com.

We saw a huge breakthrough in the struggle for LGBT equality last week. And it wouldn't have happened without the help of so many righteous, kick-ass straight people. I'll bet every queer person reading this knows a straight person who they should thank. I certainly do. Thank them in a public way: Go to www. straightupthanks.tumblr.com, click "submit a post," share a photo, and thank a straight ally.

Because we literally couldn't have done it without them.
thecityofdis 17th-Nov-2012 06:12 am (UTC)
a right's activist's sexual orientation is irrelevant

what on earth
natyanayaki 17th-Nov-2012 06:20 am (UTC)
What's wrong with that statement? Why should the orientation, sex, gender, race, ethnicity, creed etc. effect the value with which a _______ right's activists message is taken?
thecityofdis 17th-Nov-2012 06:23 am (UTC)
oh, i don't know, how about because the fact that some people fighting for queer rights - like, i don't know, actual queer people - actually put themselves in the line of fire, and frequently place themselves in danger of losing their jobs or homes or friends or family or physical safety or lives? and the fact that straight people retain straight privilege while being allies? it baffles me that you can think the two are on even remotely the same footing.

allies are great and all, but they have no skin in the game.
natyanayaki 17th-Nov-2012 06:28 am (UTC)
Experience matters. Risk matters. But let's just ignore the fact that many people promote the support "straight allies," as if the support of "straight allies" is what legitimizes the cause and it is that notion that I oppose. Just as I oppose the pedestal that white civil rights activists were placed on, or the pedestal that "men against rape" are placed on.

But it's classic for this comm to make assumptions and ignore the content of posts, so whatever.
thecityofdis 17th-Nov-2012 06:31 am (UTC)
what the hell are you even talking about

it is wrong to equate straight allies with queer activists

which is what you did

no one here is making assumptions; you're being incoherent.
natyanayaki 17th-Nov-2012 06:35 am (UTC)
I'm not getting into an argument with you. Continue with your assumptions, put words into my mouth. I don't give a damn.
thecityofdis 17th-Nov-2012 06:37 am (UTC)
i can't tell if you're trolling or are just seriously bizarre.
bleakwinters 17th-Nov-2012 01:22 pm (UTC)
I have them tagged as "defends homophobic nazi Griffin on Twitter ban" so you know, that probably explains a lot.
chaya 17th-Nov-2012 06:23 pm (UTC)
Seriously bizarre and unable to back up their statements if memory serves.
lickety_split 17th-Nov-2012 07:08 pm (UTC)
Just smile and nod as you back away slowly...
oudeteron 17th-Nov-2012 07:19 pm (UTC)
Hi. My LJ note for you says "whiteknighting for a violent homophobic asshole who got banned from twitter". Guess what your opinion about LGBTIQ rights is? Oh, that's right, irrelevant!

But I'm sure we're all just making assumptions.
natyanayaki 17th-Nov-2012 08:20 pm (UTC)
Haha, because you can know so much about a person from LJ, but that's fine, that sort of immaturity and idiocy is typical of this comm.

Edited at 2012-11-17 08:21 pm (UTC)
celtic_thistle 17th-Nov-2012 10:20 pm (UTC)
So why are you still here.
natyanayaki 17th-Nov-2012 10:35 pm (UTC)
Information, and I don't make a habit out of bowing to the idiocy of bullies.
oudeteron 18th-Nov-2012 11:18 pm (UTC)
I don't know, some people put more of themselves to LJ than they do elsewhere, but I never said I knew "so much" about you. I just think I know as much as I need, and your dismissiveness only seems to be proving that impression right.

And, lol, you are not being "bullied". If you want validation, go anywhere else where kowtowing to bullshit straight universalism is the default.
natyanayaki 19th-Nov-2012 12:13 am (UTC)
Right, because expressing the opinion that focusing on, promoting, or speaking of the sexual orientation of straight individuals who support/fight for equal rights does nothing but feed into our society's natural power inclination (straight peoples are so trustworthy, believe them!), is all about bowing to straight universalism. Uh huh.

And no, I wasn't being bullied, but there's a group of members of this comm that use bully-tactics on anyone who has an opinion that doesn't fall into line.
oudeteron 19th-Nov-2012 12:38 am (UTC)
It's not that you can't speak this opinion if you're straight/cis, or that being straight/cis automatically makes any opinion you have worthless. It's just that it is relevant whether you're fighting your own fight or fighting one "on behalf of" a group you're not part of. Aside from many "allies" being simply condescending ("here, queer people, let me save you!"), there is the purely practical fact that a straight person supporting marriage equality doesn't have their own marriage threatened if said equality doesn't pass. For example.

So, no, being straight does not automatically disqualify you from speaking for queer rights, but the context of your position and the fact that you have significantly less to lose and are in less danger than queer people doing the same activism matter.

While I wouldn't want to sound like I'm begrudging anyone the fact that they want to say thanks (or like I'd never say thanks to someone who isn't directly affected by something), putting straight people who aren't complete homophobes on a pedestal just shouldn't be the goddamn focus of queer activism in my view. It's kind of embittering to see this self-congratulatory circle-jerk being set up as the most relevant, pressing issue on the block, in a reality where the struggle for basic human rights (which, by the way, don't start or end with "marriage equality") for queer people is so far from over it's not funny.


Finally, and I'm saying this without trying to insult you, the way you present yourself as some sort of pariah because you enjoy stirring wank in this community is tacky. There's a whole thread up here with people expressing the opinion that taking the time to publicly thank straight allies isn't objectionable to them at all. Clearly, this shows that opinion is split even among these 100-something comments. I just don't see how your opinion is so renegade.

If you're referring to being lambasted for that comment where you basically called for decontextualizing everything in activism, then well, what do you expect anyone with basic analytical skills to say to that? That context/social background don't mean a thing?

Seriously, complain about others being bullies when you're not the first one to start calling people "idiots" (nice ableism too) in a thread.
natyanayaki 19th-Nov-2012 01:16 am (UTC)
The experiences of people matter, the risks people take matter, my problem is with the notion that heterosexual/cis individuals have some greater sort of authority because they're straight and are "siding with the other side," or that the word of an individuals who was sent to a gay conversion torture camp -who claims it works and is not abusive- should have greater authority than the APA

I'm not saying that the risks for lgbtq individuals aren't greater, but I don't understand how it helps to gain equal respect, recognition, power, rights, protection etc when people focus on the sexual orientation of a straight advocate (and the same idea for when men are praised for advocating against rape/other forms of misogyny, when rich individuals discuss tax reform -like when the guy from Starbucks threatened officials with not giving political contributions- etc). In my experience too many people say "I'm straight, against lgbtq discrimination," as if that's a risk, as if that that gives them some greater authority. It just doesn't sit well with me.
margerydaw_s2 19th-Nov-2012 04:03 am (UTC)
Mine says: "not sure if banning nazis and homophobes from twitter is a good thing".
This page was loaded Oct 23rd 2014, 12:40 am GMT.