Jada Pinkett Smith: The War on Men Through the Degradation of Woman
3:37 pm - 12/06/2012
How is man to recognize his full self, his full power through the eye’s of an incomplete woman? The woman who has been stripped of Goddess recognition and diminished to a big ass and full breast for physical comfort only. The woman who has been silenced so she may forget her spiritual essence because her words stir too much thought outside of the pleasure space. The woman who has been diminished to covering all that rots inside of her with weaves and red bottom shoes.
I am sure the men, who restructured our societies from cultures that honored woman, had no idea of the outcome. They had no idea that eventually, even men would render themselves empty and longing for meaning, depth and connection. There is a deep sadness when I witness a man that can’t recognize the emptiness he feels when he objectifies himself as a bank and truly believes he can buy love with things and status. It is painful to witness the betrayal when a woman takes him up on that offer. He doesn’t recognize that the create of a half woman has contributed to his repressed anger and frustration of feeling he is not enough. He then may love no woman or keep many half women as his prize. He doesn’t recognize that it’s his submersion in the imbalanced warrior culture, where violence is the means of getting respect and power, as the reason he can break the face of the woman who bore him four children. When woman is lost, so is man. The truth is, woman is the window to a man’s heart and a man’s heart is the gateway to his soul.
Power and control will NEVER out weigh love.
May we all find our way.
J
Originally discovered on the blog Make me a Sammich: On Being a Woman in the USA, but was originally posted Dec. 1, via Jada's Facebook
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OP: I really enjoyed this, poignant, short, powerful... Love the picture especially, how Will and their daughter are visible; you can clearly see the support she has, and I just love it. X-posted to ONTD; sorry to the mods for the first failed entry submission, this new format is killing me.
But...personally, I'm not a window to a man's heart. I'm not a goddess or an incomplete woman. I'm not the spiritual anchor to any man. I'm not here to be some type of spiritual mother-earth, keeper of all that is good for men.
I'm a human being and I deserve respect because I'm a human being.
Edited at 2012-12-07 02:19 am (UTC)
... but that might just be cause I'm a snobby writer.
Sometimes my feminism* manifests in my worry about the men and boys in my life. At how double-standards and fucked up ideas of masculinity, strength and power hurt them and keep them from truly living and loving. Ain't no shame in that. If you don't identify with that it's fine. But when our men and boys, who aren't free of the other isms in the world that crush and control us, are hurting there's nothing wrong with speaking out against it. It's only an issue when we are expected to limit ourselves in order to uplift~ those men so they can feel the freedom that society denies them. Cause that only plays into the white man's idea that freedom can only be gained by denying it to others. Trough subjugation and fear, not respect and love.
*(and in the context of this conversation I feel super weird/uncomfortable calling it feminism/my feminism)
That being said, I really could've done without the "The truth is, woman is the window to a man’s heart and a man’s heart is the gateway to his soul." Cause the only window to a man's heart is that man's mind. I'm not his caretaker, mother or Manic Pixie Dream Girl.
Also, I'mma just copypasta what Jada said in response to people giving her shit when Willow cut her hair cause it makes me happy.
The question why I would LET Willow cut her hair. First the LET must be challenged. This is a world where women,girls are constantly reminded that they don't belong to themselves; that their bodies are not their own, nor their power or self determination. I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body, spirit and her mind are HER domain. Willow cut her hair because her beauty, her value, her worth is not measured by the length of her hair. It's also a statement that claims that even little girls have the RIGHT to own themselves and should not be a slave to even their mother's deepest insecurities, hopes and desires. Even little girls should not be a slave to the preconceived ideas of what a culture believes a little girl should be. More to come. Another day.
Edited at 2012-12-07 03:57 am (UTC)
"The truth is, woman is the window to a man’s heart and a man’s heart is the gateway to his soul."
Since the topic was men/women relationships, that's what was mentioned, but really I think this applies to any relationship. Being the "window" to someone's heart is, from how I took it, the way to see how that person loves and who they would choose to love, which says a lot about a person.
If a man's wife is constantly wearing sunglasses and sweaters year-round and claiming to be "clumsy" whenever someone notices a bruise or an injury that she couldn't cover up, then there we have a good idea of how he's "loving" her and what kind of "love" he has in his heart. If a man's wife is balanced and well-cared for and wise, then there we have a picture of the type of heart that sought out that balance, wisdom, and someone that knows their value and needs to be treated like her partner knows her value too.
That's what I got from the window statement, and it can apply to ANY couple. It just so happens that the type described here was woman/man. Did anyone else see it that way too?
"The truth is, man is the window to a woman’s heart and a woman’s heart is the gateway to her soul."
That would be seen as odd at best and ridiculous at worst, so the inverse shouldn't be particularly profound either, imho. Also, reversal clearly illustrates the implied power discrepancy, I feel.
Edited at 2012-12-07 06:15 am (UTC)
GURL
"Certainly as long as black people buy into the notion of patriarchal manhood, which says real men are all body and no mind, black boys whoa are cerebral, who want to read and who love books will risk being ridiculed as not manly. Certainly television representations of the studious black male in comedic sitcoms (for example Urkel on Family Matters) suggest that the studious black male is a freak, a monster."
I think this is an important quote to highlight because our society does encourage young black boys not to engage in reading and critical thinking when these are the pathways to ultimate enlightenment.
In some ways, I think what Jada writes about comes from the white patriarchal idea that woman should be a support role for man, when really man should find his own enlightenment through education and critical thinking.
Thank you for the book recommendation. I will give it a look. :)
Seeing his facebook feed has been like reading Sinfest in 2008, in that he simultaneously feels so great about moving forward and horrible for the nonsense he'd spewed in the past.