ONTD Political

Jada Pinkett Smith: The War on Men Through the Degradation of Woman

3:37 pm - 12/06/2012
jada smith

How is man to recognize his full self, his full power through the eye’s of an incomplete woman? The woman who has been stripped of Goddess recognition and diminished to a big ass and full breast for physical comfort only. The woman who has been silenced so she may forget her spiritual essence because her words stir too much thought outside of the pleasure space. The woman who has been diminished to covering all that rots inside of her with weaves and red bottom shoes.

I am sure the men, who restructured our societies from cultures that honored woman, had no idea of the outcome. They had no idea that eventually, even men would render themselves empty and longing for meaning, depth and connection. There is a deep sadness when I witness a man that can’t recognize the emptiness he feels when he objectifies himself as a bank and truly believes he can buy love with things and status. It is painful to witness the betrayal when a woman takes him up on that offer. He doesn’t recognize that the create of a half woman has contributed to his repressed anger and frustration of feeling he is not enough. He then may love no woman or keep many half women as his prize. He doesn’t recognize that it’s his submersion in the imbalanced warrior culture, where violence is the means of getting respect and power, as the reason he can break the face of the woman who bore him four children. When woman is lost, so is man. The truth is, woman is the window to a man’s heart and a man’s heart is the gateway to his soul.

Power and control will NEVER out weigh love.

May we all find our way.
J



Originally discovered on the blog Make me a Sammich: On Being a Woman in the USA, but was originally posted Dec. 1, via Jada's Facebook
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OP: I really enjoyed this, poignant, short, powerful... Love the picture especially, how Will and their daughter are visible; you can clearly see the support she has, and I just love it. X-posted to ONTD; sorry to the mods for the first failed entry submission, this new format is killing me.
devetu 7th-Dec-2012 01:35 am (UTC)
i love her. i especially love the way she's chosen to raise willow.
maynardsong 7th-Dec-2012 01:36 am (UTC)
Now THAT is "what about teh menz"-ing that I support 100%.
ms_maree 7th-Dec-2012 01:42 am (UTC)
I appreciate her sentiment to an extent.

But...personally, I'm not a window to a man's heart. I'm not a goddess or an incomplete woman. I'm not the spiritual anchor to any man. I'm not here to be some type of spiritual mother-earth, keeper of all that is good for men.

I'm a human being and I deserve respect because I'm a human being.
cindyanne1 7th-Dec-2012 01:57 am (UTC)
I think I know what you mean. I don't like the idea that because women are a certain way, that makes them responsible for making a man a better person. He should be a better person on his own.
just_awkward 7th-Dec-2012 01:44 am (UTC)
She's boss. I like how she's got the ms. on the placard in front of her instead of the mrs. Makes me feel like less of a weirdo using ms. too.
the_gabih 9th-Dec-2012 02:05 pm (UTC)
Heh, yeah. I've been using it more and more often over the last few years, and even my feminist friends tend to look at me weirdly for it.
fishphile 7th-Dec-2012 02:17 am (UTC)
hmmm.
a_phoenixdragon 7th-Dec-2012 02:17 am (UTC)
This is gorgeous. And I'm so proud of the Smiths. Will and Willow sitting there supporting her as a family should. This is a fantastic, strong family filled with amazing people. Even if you don't agree with what she says, she feels empowered enough to say it. I have to give kudos to that.

Edited at 2012-12-07 02:19 am (UTC)
lovedforaday 7th-Dec-2012 02:25 am (UTC)
I wonder if this is some kind of Scieno speak.
ms_maree 7th-Dec-2012 02:34 am (UTC)
She's a scientologist?
lickbrains 7th-Dec-2012 03:48 am (UTC)
I really like the first paragraph but the second paragraph started to lose the essence of the first paragraph's point.
poetic_pixie_13 7th-Dec-2012 03:59 am (UTC)
I think that's cause she was trying more for poetic than coherent in that second paragraph.

... but that might just be cause I'm a snobby writer.
poetic_pixie_13 7th-Dec-2012 03:53 am (UTC)
Sooooooooo, just fyi, to whom it may concern: Please pause before commenting and think about whether you're about to White Opinion all over this post.

Sometimes my feminism* manifests in my worry about the men and boys in my life. At how double-standards and fucked up ideas of masculinity, strength and power hurt them and keep them from truly living and loving. Ain't no shame in that. If you don't identify with that it's fine. But when our men and boys, who aren't free of the other isms in the world that crush and control us, are hurting there's nothing wrong with speaking out against it. It's only an issue when we are expected to limit ourselves in order to uplift~ those men so they can feel the freedom that society denies them. Cause that only plays into the white man's idea that freedom can only be gained by denying it to others. Trough subjugation and fear, not respect and love.

*(and in the context of this conversation I feel super weird/uncomfortable calling it feminism/my feminism)

That being said, I really could've done without the "The truth is, woman is the window to a man’s heart and a man’s heart is the gateway to his soul." Cause the only window to a man's heart is that man's mind. I'm not his caretaker, mother or Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

Also, I'mma just copypasta what Jada said in response to people giving her shit when Willow cut her hair cause it makes me happy.

The question why I would LET Willow cut her hair. First the LET must be challenged. This is a world where women,girls are constantly reminded that they don't belong to themselves; that their bodies are not their own, nor their power or self determination. I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body, spirit and her mind are HER domain. Willow cut her hair because her beauty, her value, her worth is not measured by the length of her hair. It's also a statement that claims that even little girls have the RIGHT to own themselves and should not be a slave to even their mother's deepest insecurities, hopes and desires. Even little girls should not be a slave to the preconceived ideas of what a culture believes a little girl should be. More to come. Another day.

Edited at 2012-12-07 03:57 am (UTC)
yeats 7th-Dec-2012 04:45 am (UTC)
thank you for this comment. (also, for posting the bit about willow's hair!)
redstar826 7th-Dec-2012 04:27 am (UTC)
huh, I guess I must be really tired, because she absolutely lost me at the end of the second paragraph, like what does " woman is the window to a man’s heart" even mean? I dont get it
mimblexwimble 7th-Dec-2012 04:31 am (UTC)
I think this is pretty problematic. Men should be able to respect women, and accept that they deserve their rights, because women are human beings. They should not need an incentive. Whether an "incomplete" woman makes a man's life better or worse is not relevant to the issue.
leaf_collector 7th-Dec-2012 05:34 am (UTC)
It feels, in a lot of ways like an "appeal to men" or something (which yes is problematic).
rkt 7th-Dec-2012 05:39 am (UTC)
also, hello heterocentricity.
soba_kasu 7th-Dec-2012 08:56 am (UTC)
was gonna say the same tbh
lantean_breeze 7th-Dec-2012 06:00 am (UTC)
Okay, I think people are possibly taking the window comment out of context. Here's how I took this:

"The truth is, woman is the window to a man’s heart and a man’s heart is the gateway to his soul."

Since the topic was men/women relationships, that's what was mentioned, but really I think this applies to any relationship. Being the "window" to someone's heart is, from how I took it, the way to see how that person loves and who they would choose to love, which says a lot about a person.

If a man's wife is constantly wearing sunglasses and sweaters year-round and claiming to be "clumsy" whenever someone notices a bruise or an injury that she couldn't cover up, then there we have a good idea of how he's "loving" her and what kind of "love" he has in his heart. If a man's wife is balanced and well-cared for and wise, then there we have a picture of the type of heart that sought out that balance, wisdom, and someone that knows their value and needs to be treated like her partner knows her value too.

That's what I got from the window statement, and it can apply to ANY couple. It just so happens that the type described here was woman/man. Did anyone else see it that way too?

hinoema 7th-Dec-2012 06:14 am (UTC)
My rule of thumb about things like that is to reverse it and see if it sounds better or worse.

"The truth is, man is the window to a woman’s heart and a woman’s heart is the gateway to her soul."

That would be seen as odd at best and ridiculous at worst, so the inverse shouldn't be particularly profound either, imho. Also, reversal clearly illustrates the implied power discrepancy, I feel.

Edited at 2012-12-07 06:15 am (UTC)
spyral_path 7th-Dec-2012 06:20 am (UTC)
Maybe it's because I'm too drunk and too tired but I'm having a hard time reading this post because I can't get past the it's all about the poor men vibe and we women need to do our best to bring out their best. I think men should he decebt human beings just because that's the right thing to do. Also, I'd like some historical citations for past societies that honored women in anything more than a symbolic way. The ancient Athenians had goddesses but their women were expected to never leave the house.
maynardsong 7th-Dec-2012 12:53 pm (UTC)
How was it an exhortation for women to be a certain way? She was saying "dudes, by being sexist towards women, you're depriving yourselves of a 'complete' partner." New age blather aside, she's very on point with that. Mistreat someone and it's your own ass you're ultimately harming.
jenny_jenkins 7th-Dec-2012 09:14 am (UTC)
I know it's anal of me, but I can't get over the "eye's".

GURL
blueboatdreams 7th-Dec-2012 04:22 pm (UTC)
This reminds me of a book I'm reading about black masculinity in our mass media, imperialist patriarchal masculine world. It's called "We Real Cool: Black Men and Masculinity" by bell hooks (an amazing writer). It's incredibly insightful on how black men relate to the world around them in a culture where they are "all body and no mind", where it is about the physical power of man rather than the power of his mind. In this sense, Jada is right when she talks about the warrior culture we live in.

"Certainly as long as black people buy into the notion of patriarchal manhood, which says real men are all body and no mind, black boys whoa are cerebral, who want to read and who love books will risk being ridiculed as not manly. Certainly television representations of the studious black male in comedic sitcoms (for example Urkel on Family Matters) suggest that the studious black male is a freak, a monster."

I think this is an important quote to highlight because our society does encourage young black boys not to engage in reading and critical thinking when these are the pathways to ultimate enlightenment.

In some ways, I think what Jada writes about comes from the white patriarchal idea that woman should be a support role for man, when really man should find his own enlightenment through education and critical thinking.
lantean_breeze 7th-Dec-2012 08:19 pm (UTC)
I agree with this. And to add to the point about a man with all body and no mind, someone upstream here mentioned that they see the way to a man's heart as through his mind. Well, if he's been trained to shut his mind off, then what can we find in his heart? Therein lies the problem.

Thank you for the book recommendation. I will give it a look. :)
eyetosky 7th-Dec-2012 09:04 pm (UTC)
I've got a good friend who was a textbook case of frustrated Nice Guy for years, but over the past two months he's been having some serious revelations about essentially this very thing.

Seeing his facebook feed has been like reading Sinfest in 2008, in that he simultaneously feels so great about moving forward and horrible for the nonsense he'd spewed in the past.
lantean_breeze 9th-Dec-2012 04:52 am (UTC)
You've got me intrigued about his story now.
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