ONTD Political

US student forced into ex-gay therapy

7:55 pm - 07/20/2009
A gay pre-med student from Arkansas has been "forced" into therapy to cure him of homosexuality.

According to his friends, Bryce Faulkner, 23, was preparing to come out to deeply religious family when his mother discovered emails to his boyfriend, who lives in Wisconsin.

He was then given an ultimatum of being kicked out on the street or going into ex-gay therapy, a controversial "cure" for homosexuality through prayer.

Gay rights activists say it does not work and can be emotionally devastating.

Friends say the college student was left with no choice, as his parents took away his phone, his car and his money.

Speaking to PinkNews.co.uk, his boyfriend Travis Swanson, 24, said he was "very worried".

Swanson said: "Bryce was taken to this place on June 15th. The last time I spoke with him was on that day around 4:30am.

"He called me and was crying uncontrollably saying, 'You should have heard the mean and hateful things they said about me. They made me read out loud passages from the Bible'.

"One of the last things he said to me before falling asleep was, 'Promise me you will be strong for me and for us'."

Swanson believes Faulkner may be at an Exodus International ministry in Florida.

He said a friend of the family had heard Faulkner would be in Mississippi for three weeks and then in Florida for 14 months.

Exodus International has six ministries and 16 churches in Florida. Swanson believes Faulkner may be at one in Pensacola.

The church movement promises "freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus Christ".

Peterson Toscano, who has campaigned against so-called homosexuality 'cures' after spending 17 years in ex-gay therapy, told PinkNews.co.uk: "Like in the UK, so much of the ex-gay treatment in the US these days, especially for young people, happens under the radar through Christian counsellors, church youth programs and summer camps.

"Parents can wield tremendous pressure on college-aged children, threatening to withhold funding or even to disown their own children unless they submit to the 'de-gaying' process.

"Through the over 1,000 ex-gay survivors in the US and UK I have met through www.beyondexgay.com and in my travels, I have seen firsthand the devastating emotional, psychological and spiritual damage these 'treatments' and theories inflict on people, often derailing their personal and professional development for years.

"The fruits of these so-called treatments are depression, confusion, isolation, and a damaged sense of self. When parents insist that their child receive these unsound and unregulated procedures, they not only harm their relationship with their own child, but also open up their son or daughter to the potential of personal harm."

To support the campaign to find Bryce Faulkner, visit savebryce.ergonomicalministries.org
Source.
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boyracer1211 21st-Jul-2009 12:08 am (UTC)
I suppose going to the police for help would be useless. I'm sure his family is all, "Oh, he's [insert convenient excuse] and people are making something out of nothing". Ugh. Bastards. :/
imnotasquirrel 21st-Jul-2009 12:16 am (UTC)
I suppose going to the police for help would be useless.

Also -- and IANAL so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong -- I don't know if the police would get involved because this isn't exactly a kidnapping. Going by the letter of the law, he wasn't forced into this. Parents are not obligated to provide for adult children, and if adults want to be supported by their parents, the parents can attach whatever strings they choose, no matter how shitty those strings are.

Once again though IANAL so I'm basically talking out of my ass here.
trafficsigns 21st-Jul-2009 12:10 am (UTC)
if he's 23 how can they legally do that?
potatoboat 21st-Jul-2009 12:12 am (UTC)
i think his parents coerced him financially (i'm assuming they were paying for all his stuff), which is legal.
fourleftxaviers 21st-Jul-2009 12:11 am (UTC)
Lovely.
stephocalypse 21st-Jul-2009 12:18 am (UTC)
Sick shit.
ateenwriter 21st-Jul-2009 12:19 am (UTC)
How can his parents take his money and his car? He's an adult?! This article warrants a
WHAT THE FLYING FUCK!?
helders 21st-Jul-2009 12:44 am (UTC)
the car is probably in their name, and they might also support him financially. ;/
erunamiryene 21st-Jul-2009 12:21 am (UTC)
Man, I dunno. I'd rather go live in a shelter than go through that (if his parents were paying for EVERYTHING). Then again, I can't fathom being dependent on my parents at 23 (I moved out when I was 14, long story).

That is a sterling example of fantastically shitty parenting. Well, fantastically shitty human behavior in general, actually.
richie666 21st-Jul-2009 12:22 am (UTC)
"forced" into therapy to cure him of homosexuality

quotation marks should so be at the word "cure" instead.
jorajo 21st-Jul-2009 12:31 am (UTC)
Exactly this.
layweed 21st-Jul-2009 12:30 am (UTC)
PRAY THAT GAY AWAY~!
ex_memento 21st-Jul-2009 12:33 am (UTC)
Man. I have stories of my own involving deeply religious parents and reacting to any support of homosexuality with "church therapy" if i can call it that, but let's just say: it's so annoying that they put "force" into quotation marks like that. When you've grown up in a certain kind of environment regardless of your age, it's 100% possible to be browbeaten into doing things because your family tells you to do them - it's emotional abuse, and once you're sufficiently convinced that you have to do something to avoid "shaming" the family, it's all too easy to be forced into doing something you know deep down is not right.

I hope he is found and I hope he's freed from that pain soon.
sombermusic 21st-Jul-2009 01:03 am (UTC)
This.

I "agreed" to seeing a "Christian" therapist (not an ex-gay one specifically, and he actually had legitimate psych credentials, but not LGBT-friendly by any stretch) in order to not be disowned after being outed for the second time. Thankfully he was more incompetent than malevolent.

If Bryce is anything like me, it may be a bit of "maybe if I at least try and still fail they'll have to admit they're wrong." Unfortunately it's a lot more likely that they'll just blame him for not trying "hard enough."
maxvinyl 21st-Jul-2009 12:34 am (UTC)
Friends say the college student was left with no choice, as his parents took away his phone, his car and his money.

since he had money to take away, I think it's safe to assume that he had a job and therefore it's also safe to assume that he was paying for his own phone and car. while his parents could legally kick him out of the house, they certainly couldn't legally take things away that belonged to him. and even if he wasn't paying for the car and the phone, wouldn't taking away his money technically be stealing?

idk maybe I'm missing something, but this is all too wtf for me.
onix86 21st-Jul-2009 12:39 am (UTC)
Actually I'm assuming by 'his money' they mean 'his allowance'.
popehippo 21st-Jul-2009 12:38 am (UTC)
That is seriously kidnapping. He's twenty-three fucking years old. Is there ANY way to get ahold of the police? ._.
recorded 21st-Jul-2009 02:40 am (UTC)
because he couldn't give up his 'allowance' instead of getting a job and living on his own, being 23 and all...?
noir_aya 21st-Jul-2009 12:41 am (UTC)
WTH?! That's such an awful thing to do.
Photobucket
zestylime 21st-Jul-2009 12:57 am (UTC)
oh god, i feel so bad for this boy.

My parents would probably do this if they found out I was bi too. ugh I just feel terrible that anyone else has a family like mine...it's something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
toki_wartooth 21st-Jul-2009 03:31 am (UTC)
Ugh. I know how you feel. Luckily, my mom's seem to have become somewhat more liberal...probably helps that one of her co-workers is flaming, and he's one of those that helps us out (since my Dad died, that is). She seems to have changed her tune some...

I only wish the same thing could happen for you. :[

I'm still too scared to tell my mom I'm bi, though. Even if she's okay with the co-worker, I don't know she's ready to handle if her baby girl isn't heterosexual. Gah.
sunoftheskye 21st-Jul-2009 12:59 am (UTC)
ladytia 21st-Jul-2009 01:24 am (UTC)
GIF LOVE, bb.

I loved that bitch, and O'Hara is my girl.
subversive_kiwi 21st-Jul-2009 01:25 am (UTC)
Photobucket

God, I just pray that his friends can get him out of there. It would be a miracle if he didn't come out of this with tremendous emotional trauma. I hope his friends can get him through this, even if they can't physically storm the facility and rescue him.
squidb0i 21st-Jul-2009 04:22 am (UTC)
Best. Show. Ever.
scarlet_pencil 21st-Jul-2009 01:42 am (UTC)
Exodus International has six ministries and 16 churches in Florida. Swanson believes Faulkner may be at one in Pensacola.

Shit, that's where my homeschool materials come from. Now I know why they're filled with a special brand of crazy.

Things like this make me sick to my stomach.
ojuzu 21st-Jul-2009 01:51 am (UTC)
You're not the only one. :\
schmiss 21st-Jul-2009 01:46 am (UTC)
ick. As much as I love to joke about ~pray the gay away~ because it's so ridiculous, when I think about it I get really sad. Even the South Park episode makes me sad :( (except the Cartman storyline because LOL)
chaobell 21st-Jul-2009 02:24 am (UTC)
JFC. Just--ugh. UGH. RAGE.
recorded 21st-Jul-2009 02:36 am (UTC)
Sorry, if your parents don't like something you're doing, they have the right to cut off funds.


Maybe he should grow the fuck up, get a job, take loans and provide for himself--- instead of pretending to have been "forced" to go to ex-gay prayer shit, simply because he doesn't want to be "cut-off" from the money.

Honestly, I know PLENTY of people who have taken loans for school, have jobs, pay their own living expenses... all ON THEIR OWN WITHOUT MOMMY AND DADDY.


I think the parents are ridiculous, but I feel like the MAN wasn't forced to do anything.
nerdork 21st-Jul-2009 02:45 am (UTC)
It never says he DOESN'T have a job.
angry_chick 21st-Jul-2009 02:50 am (UTC)
If he had a job and his own money and his own car, he needs to take them to court. What they did was extortion.
iamcheryltweedy 21st-Jul-2009 03:29 am (UTC)
There are some fucking assholes in this post.
sombermusic 21st-Jul-2009 03:43 am (UTC)
No kidding. I'm waiting for someone to say he should just pull himself up by his bootstraps.
maryaminx 21st-Jul-2009 04:14 am (UTC)
My parents found out I was gay when I was 19 and kicked me out. They took my car, my computer, my cell phone. I'm hella lucky I didn't end up on the street, and I actually had a job and a way to halfway support myself. I threatened to take them to court and they gave me back the stuff I had paid for, but it wasn't a cake walk. I don't know this kid's specific money/school situation, but expecting him to walk out and say "I'll go sleep under a bridge" is ridiculous and his parents are horrible, horrible people.

victoriabloom 21st-Jul-2009 04:18 am (UTC)
expecting him to walk out and say "I'll go sleep under a bridge" is ridiculous

IA. It's not like he knew he'd be kicked out at X age and had time to financial prepare.

Anyway, I'm sorry you had to go through with that, bb. :(( *hugs*
missingalphabet 21st-Jul-2009 04:17 am (UTC)
Damn, that's crazy, like declared homosexuality an illness again and booked him on a 5150. His parents are probably so wealthy that he can't get financial aid and can't afford taking out $200,000 in loans for med school. Declaring himself independent may or may not help, and even then, I'm sure it's not an easy process. Never mind the emotional damage can't believe he even considered coming out at all. Must have been planning to do it from the safety of a telephone in Wisconsin. Wondered how he would have paid for school, then. Or maybe he just didn't know how crazy his family is. Find that hard to believe, though, but whatever. Love.

I'm confused about this campaign, though. They find him...and then what? They can't exactly make him leave and I doubt this program will let them get in contact with him at all.
squidb0i Um..21st-Jul-2009 04:21 am (UTC)
That's really horrible and I'm extremely sympathetic, no one should ever have to go through such a travesty .. but 'no choice'?

You're 23. Grow a pair. Go get a friggin' job.
missingalphabet Re: Um..21st-Jul-2009 04:25 am (UTC)
And drop out of med school?
victoriabloom 21st-Jul-2009 04:30 am (UTC)
Question for the people saying "Get a job":

How exactly do you suppose he should do that?

He currently has a job that is apparently, in some way, tied to his parents, so I'd say that if he gets kicked out of his house he's lost any chance of a reference. And besides that, job applications ask for telephone numbers and usually for addresses as well. What's he supposed to put if he's kicked out of the house? He can't put his home phone and his cell has been taken away.

It's not like he can just walk into a fast food place and say "Hire me!" And even if he did have job references and valid contact information, given the current economy, it's not like he would have been able to find anything instantly.
missingalphabet 21st-Jul-2009 04:46 am (UTC)
It sounds like he was going to live with his boyfriend and was why he was going to come to his parents in the first place, so if they did withhold financial support from him, the next logical conclusion is to move in with is boyfriend like he had planned on, get a job, and make do.

That he didn't is most likely a result of being in med school and being unable to pay for it on his own. While some people may think that once your turn 18, you are now independent, colleges do not see it this way. You are financially dependent on your parents until you're old enough to be declared independent or get married. If his parents are as rich as this article implies, the college may have been expecting his family to foot the entire bill.

Now, he may have thought he could lie or survive his way through the therapy to maintain his financial support, but his friends and boyfriend are now becoming increasingly worried that the program they put him in is in is actually hardcore as hell due to the lack communication with him..
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