ONTD Political

Jesus is a Liberal, Conservatives to re-write Bible

1:33 pm - 12/03/2009
Conservative Bible Project Cuts Out Liberal Passages
The Huffington Post
Rachel Weine

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Lo and behold, the Bible has gotten too liberal, according to a group of conservatives. And it needs a little editing.

That's the inspiration behind the Conservative Bible Project, which seeks to take the text back to its supposed right-wing roots.

Yes, even scripture is not orthodox enough for the modern conservative. Not that it's the fault of the author(s), exactly. The group cites a few reasons why the Bible is too progressive: "Lack of precision in the original language ... lack of precision in modern language" and "translation bias in converting the original language to the modern one."

So how can the Bible be conservatized? The group has proposed a Wikipedia-like group editing project. Some of the ideas would only bring the translation closer to the original. But others would fundamentally change the text.

1. Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias

2. Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity
3. Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level[3]
4. Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop;[4] defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle".
5. Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots";[5] using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census
6. Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.
7. Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning
8. Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story
9. Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels
10. Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word "Lord" rather than "Jehovah" or "Yahweh" or "Lord God."

Among the words to be eliminated: "government." A conservative columnist at Beliefnet described the effort as "just crazy ... like what you'd get if you crossed the Jesus Seminar with the College Republican chapter at a rural institution of Bible learnin'."

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There are no words :/

Sauce
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ccf_8002 3rd-Dec-2009 06:37 pm (UTC)
the bible was and can be re-written by man.
lastupenda 3rd-Dec-2009 06:41 pm (UTC)
this.
violetrose 3rd-Dec-2009 06:37 pm (UTC)
This isn't especially new - they've been wanting to do this for a while. It's revolting, and a complete defilement of Jesus, God and the Bible. They're disgusting.
lamboyster 3rd-Dec-2009 06:40 pm (UTC)
If they hate Christ so much, why don't they find a different religion instead of bastardizing His words?
violetrose 3rd-Dec-2009 06:41 pm (UTC)
Because then they wouldn't be the Christian Right, and thus be able to claim themselves as morally superior to everyone else, duh.
angi_is_altered 3rd-Dec-2009 06:41 pm (UTC)
popehippo 3rd-Dec-2009 07:03 pm (UTC)
I had something to say but, zomg, Gaga.
lady_sci_fi 3rd-Dec-2009 06:43 pm (UTC)
This is just my non-religious perspective

the only way to get rid of the 'liberal bias' is to get rid of Jesus, since he was all into sharing and caring and loving, right? Which would then make these fundies not christians, since christians believe in Jesus and his messages.
Besides, I thought questioning the word of god was a sin. And, since the bible is the 'word of god,' editing it is a sin, right?
wyntur_snow 3rd-Dec-2009 06:44 pm (UTC)
This.
lroche_nf 3rd-Dec-2009 06:43 pm (UTC)
My gawd....there are no words. Just go create your own religion already.

These people give Christians a bad name.
kaze_to_isshoni 3rd-Dec-2009 06:45 pm (UTC)
THIS...so much.
paintingvisions 3rd-Dec-2009 06:51 pm (UTC)
*facepalm*

I don't have the same faith as these people.

I don't recognise their religion.

It upsets me and I'm ashamed of it.
quizzicalsphinx 3rd-Dec-2009 06:52 pm (UTC)
(Wasn't this already here a while back?)


But yeah. Just come on out and say you're Paulians.

violetrose 3rd-Dec-2009 06:53 pm (UTC)
Yeah, to my knowledge, this isn't new, they've been wanting to do this for a while.
nope_de_plume 3rd-Dec-2009 06:54 pm (UTC)
Won't they have to learn hebrew? And greek? That seems a bit too hard for them.

Unless they're not actually retranslating, and just throwing out whatever they don't like from the already translated ones.
jaded110 3rd-Dec-2009 06:56 pm (UTC)
You're assuming these morons actually read Hebrew or Greek.
jaded110 3rd-Dec-2009 06:55 pm (UTC)
Sorry, I'll keep the copy of the Bible my dad has on the TV stand. That's the real Bible.
popehippo 3rd-Dec-2009 07:06 pm (UTC)
And even that one is wildly different as it's been from down the ages. @.@
bib_specialist 3rd-Dec-2009 07:03 pm (UTC)
Doesn't the "no dumbing down" clause contradict every other thing they want to do? After all, by definition, conservatizing anything is dumbing it down.
erunamiryene 3rd-Dec-2009 07:04 pm (UTC)
So, I was kind of smirking, and then I got to this:

Accept the Logic of Hell

Logic. Of Hell. Logic ... in religion.

And I LOL'd IRL. I'm sorry, but religion is not logical. It's just NOT. I'm not saying that's a bad thing; just because I don't have religious faith doesn't mean I don't think anyone else should, either. But it's NOT LOGICAL. (ETA: let me clarify. I'm not saying that believing isn't logical. I'm saying that what people are told to believe in isn't logical.)

Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story

So ... basically, what you're saying is that the "infallible word of god" is infallible only so long as you agree with it. Why don't you just go ahead and strike the entire New Testament - or at least the Gospels - since it's all that lovey dovey la-di-da-di claptrap about "love your neighbor" and all that other community organizer bullshit that that longhaired hippie spouted? Cause obviously, religion should never be about love, it should be about how high the smiting count is, amirite?

Good grief, these people need to go read The Prodigal God.


Edited at 2009-12-03 07:05 pm (UTC)
violetrose 3rd-Dec-2009 07:09 pm (UTC)
Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story

What. Bitches, don't you touch my favourite NT Jesus story! Seriously, get rid of that story, and you remove a lot of the theology of 99.9% of Christianity - which is forgiveness, redemption, Salvation and repenting of sins. But, I can see how they'd have a problem with the forgiveness and not stoning a woman part.
lamboyster 3rd-Dec-2009 07:16 pm (UTC)
Wait Jesus you are making a wrong turn GOD DAMMIT DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING JESUS I SAID GET ON THE FREEWAY.

Edited at 2009-12-03 07:17 pm (UTC)
setosnicegirl 3rd-Dec-2009 07:12 pm (UTC)
I'm still going to use the LOLCat Bible and the Lego Bible, tyvm.

Also, Doesn't the last book in the Bible warn against changing things or taking things out lest God takes a page out of the Book of Life or something like that?



Edited at 2009-12-03 07:22 pm (UTC)
runawaynun 3rd-Dec-2009 08:58 pm (UTC)
Yep.

Revelation 22:18-19 says, "For I testify unto everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book, if anyone adds to these things, God will add to him the plagues that are written in this book; And if anyone takes away from the words of this book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part from the Book of Life, and from the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book."
eversofar 3rd-Dec-2009 07:16 pm (UTC)
This sounds like a dumb idea.
dallowayward 3rd-Dec-2009 07:20 pm (UTC)
Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities

avoid...unnecessary ambiguities

avoid...unnecessary ambiguities

That...sums it up nicely
probing_grays 3rd-Dec-2009 07:58 pm (UTC)
LO FUCKING L. xD Soooo true.
girlthatyoufear 3rd-Dec-2009 07:24 pm (UTC)
So, now even the very religious text that most hypocritical Christians use as a foundation for their hateful ways is too liberal. It's nice that they're subtly admitting that they are not in this to care about the teachings of Christ. Now, if they could GTFO of my religion, that would be perfect.
bwhahahabeck 3rd-Dec-2009 07:27 pm (UTC)
I want Jesus to smite these bitches.
angry_chick 3rd-Dec-2009 07:30 pm (UTC)
YAY PHARISEES!
wyntur_snow 3rd-Dec-2009 07:31 pm (UTC)
I lol'd
dearmisterecho 3rd-Dec-2009 07:32 pm (UTC)
It must be terrifying to these people

always thinking that Liberal Bias is trying to trick them all the time, and follows them around everywhere like that evil black cloud thingo from LOST (dunno what its called, never actually watched it)
firerosearien 3rd-Dec-2009 07:37 pm (UTC)
I'll take my Tanakh in the original hebrew, thank you very much.
quizzicalsphinx 3rd-Dec-2009 07:41 pm (UTC)
But would Sarah Palin take questions from the Tanakh in Hebrew?
jorajo 3rd-Dec-2009 08:44 pm (UTC)
Yes.
snapesgirl34 3rd-Dec-2009 08:01 pm (UTC)
Every time I see this I hope that it's a parody. Alas, it seems some people really are that stupid.

The basis of all the religions I'm familiar is to basically be kind to others and to be a good person. But I guess that's not as much fun as being an intolerant dick, hence the religious right who seem to have fallen asleep during all the parts that didn't involve stoning people you don't like or misogyny. But if you're re-writing the bible to leave out all the peace, love, acceptance, and helping those less fortunate you might as well leave Jesus out entirely.
tigerdreams 3rd-Dec-2009 08:43 pm (UTC)
Exactly. If only they could get rid of all those nasty bits written in red, the Bible would be so much more in line with their beliefs.
dragonhawker 3rd-Dec-2009 08:07 pm (UTC)
As despicable as this is, I have to lol at the tacit admission that they don't believe in the bible any more.
night_is_fallen 3rd-Dec-2009 08:28 pm (UTC)
Okay, what the actual fuck? This is BATSHIT.
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