RIDGE FARM -- The devastated mother of 10-year-old Ashlynn Conner spoke up about the bullying that she says led to her daughter's suicide. Stacy Conner broke down, as she recounted how kids at school and around the neighborhood would tease the girl.
"They'd call her a slut," said a tearful Conner, "Ashlynn's ugly. She's fat."
Conner, a single mother, says it's been going on for years. She knew her daughter was picked on, but she didn't know what to do. They had talked about the bullying before, but Conner says Ashlynn never told her things were this bad. The girl had asked to be home-schooled after coming home Thursday. When her mother said no, Ashlynn's sister found her the next day in a bedroom closet. She had hanged herself with a scarf.
"I thought my kids were strong," sobbed Conner, "That my words to them for guidance and advice would have more weight than what these kids were saying. I was wrong."
Ashlynn Conner was a 5th grader at Ridge Farm Elementary. She recently made it onto the school's Honor Roll and aspired to become a veterinarian.
"She loved animals," said her Grandmother, Lory Hackney. "She didn't want to see any of them sick or hurting."
WCIA reached out to the Georgetown Ridge Farm School District. No one was available this weekend, but they did issue a news release.
"The Board of Education is very saddened at the tragic loss of one of our children. Our hearts go out to her family in this time of loss, said the release. The district said counselors would also be available Monday to speak with students and family.
Ashlynn Conner's family is heartbroken. They're still struggling to cope with the loss, hoping that sharing Ashlynn's story can keep it from happening to someone else.
"I don't know what its gonna take to stop it," said Conner, "but no child should ever feel like they have to kill themselves to stop that kind of pain."
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This happened not too far from where I live. She's so young and it's so upsetting that kids are killing themselves at younger and younger ages. I have a sister who is just a few months younger than her.
I do feel that there needs to be more toughness in schools. Like when I was bullied as a kid and my parents got the kids who were doing it together at the principal's office and gave them a good talking to. It should be ok to do that if there's a situation like poor Ashlynn's going on. They should be told that they are responsible for her death and for her family's loss.
And the BOE doesn't sound like it's going to investigate or have an intervention at all.
This poor, poor girl. How heartbreaking.
Something needs to change, badly. Kids can't be expected to handle this stuff all on their own. They need to be able to know that all the grownups around them are looking out for them, and will protect them, not their own asses.
"I thought my kids were strong," sobbed Conner
It doesn't maker her/them weak, though. I don't know how to explain it, but it upset me that she'd say it like that (although I guess I understand what she meant).
"I don't know what its gonna take to stop it," said Conner
If she knew what was going on, she should have taken action. It's hard, and usually as someone on the outside it feels like less of a problem than what it really is. Her kind words won't eliminate the problem, and she needed someone to take action..
Don't worry, I had similar thoughts.
If we as a country really want to get serious about bullying we need to take a page out of Finland's book: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/people-pl
Hopefully this doesn't come across in the wrong way, but does anyone remember anything like this happening when they were younger or is it just now that the media is picking up on "bullying gone too far"? (as if bullying has never been an issue? Ugh)
They got ~garbage duty~ the rest of the recess period.
I have other stories too.
I think that it's a mixed issue, really -- bullying was never seen as newsworthy, and now that the internet is so easily accessible, there's a lot more concerted bullying as well. Either way, it's atrocious.
jfc. :c
Suffice it to say, I understand what this poor girl went through. There were days that I would cry because I had to go to school, and there were many times I thought of running away, maybe even suicide. This is nothing I told my parents, because this sort of thing wasn't something you went to adults for -- they'd just tell you suck it up.
The mother was buying what a lot of people say, that bullying is natural and, in fact, makes you stronger and better able to deal with adversity. My father told me that when I was 10 and being tormented by a teacher and people still say it about children who don't go to school.
Until tax payers, through the schools, pay for small classrooms, a lower adult:child ratio, and strong consequences for bullying, those same tax payers should be made to subsidize homeschooling for kids who want it.
I know single parents who homeschool and I know it extremely difficult to do. The loss of income in having one parent stay home isn't *easy* either but it's preferable to having your child tormented, perhaps to death. If we can't figure out a way to make schools safe for kids, we can just pay for them to stay with a parent and be safe.
And the infuriating thing is that while more and more kids kill themselves, adults will refuse to do shit about it, because "Bullying is good for you, it builds character, blah blah blah" BULL FUCKING SHIT. OKAY?
KIDS. KIDS are being picked on and tormented to the point of killing themselves. I don't understand why it is that our country takes it so lightly! Fucking--if you were out with your kid and someone started picking on them, you'd sure as fuck do something about it. But because you're not there when it happened, or because it's not your kid, "Oh, it's good for them, they need it, FUCKING BACKBONE THEORY, STOP WHINING AND GET OVER IT."
So, let me get this straight. When an adult picks on another adult, it's totally unacceptable, and you can report them to your employer/police/whoever. But when it happens to a child, they just need to get the fuck over it?
IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT FUCKING MAKE SENSE? America! Wake. The fuck. Up! I beg of you, wake the fuck up, because this is bullshit. Ten year olds shouldn't be thinking about suicide. Children shouldn't be allowed to bully other kids. Isn't the Golden Rule one of the first things we teach kids when they start school?! You can't teach it, then throw it out the window when they're ~tweens/teens~, and then expect them to follow it out of nowhere because they suddenly reached the age of legality. The fuck is wrong with people?
This same shit is happening with more and more frequency and no one sees it as a problem at all?
Edited at 2011-11-15 02:23 am (UTC)