ONTD Political

A Dad, A facebook note, a laptop and a .45.

11:38 pm - 02/09/2012
The disgruntled teenage daughter of a tech-savvy, gun-toting father just got a very public lesson in respecting one’s elders.

“That right there is your laptop,” the father, named Tommy Jordan, says in a YouTube video while pointing a video camera at a computer on laying in a patch of dirt and grass. “This right here is my .45,” he says, moving a pistol into the frame.

He cocks the weapon and shoots nine exploding hollow-point rounds into the laptop.



Jordan’s 15-year-old daughter apparently wrote a Facebook post complaining about the chores she has to do at home and the overall hassle that her parents make her life. The father took exception to the public airing of grievances, and so decided to exact his own bit of public revenge, according to the video description, as well as Facebook and Reddit posts he appears to have made.

The role of social media in family life has been debated since social networks began to catch on, but Jordan appears to be taking a proactive approach.

In the video, which is titled “Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen.” and looks to be shot from a tripod, Jordan sits down in a chair outdoors with a computer print-out in hand. He dedicates the recording to his daughter and, “more importantly for all her friends on Facebook who thought that her little rebellious post was cute, and for all you parents out there who think your, you know, kids don’t post bad things on Facebook.”

Jordan says he works in IT for a living (and, indeed, appears to run a company called Twisted Networx) and chastises his daughter for thinking she could hide the note from him with privacy settings. He then reads the purported note aloud after explaining, “since you want to hide it from everyone, I’m going to share it with everybody.”

In the note, the daughter says that she should be paid for the chores she does and her parents overwork her, criticizing them harshly. Jordan says that her complaints are mostly unjustified, and contrasts it to the work he had to do growing up.

After about seven minutes of preamble, he gets up from the chair and plugs the computer full of lead.

Jordan writes in the video description: “Maybe a few kids can take something away from this… If you’re so disrespectful to your parents and yourself as to post this kind of thing on Facebook, you’re deserving of some tough love. Today, my daughter is getting a dose of tough love.”

Mashable has attempted to contact Jordan for further comment, but so far has not received a response.


[source]

And the video -
the_glow_worm 10th-Feb-2012 09:05 am (UTC)
I'm sorry, for some reason out of this big entire post you're exhausting me. I think you have a bit of a case of KIDS THESE DAYS and I don't think you have a full grasp about how people use facebook, or maybe you do and you just don't like it. It's not embarrassing to have a teenager that complains about you, it's quite normal. It's not a terrible thing to be disrespectful to your elders in a private conversation with your friends. That is also quite normal. We're making assumptions about the father based on these facts: that he reacted to a disrespectful post that he was not supposed to see by publicly humiliating her over the internet, pulling out a gun, and destroying the personal property of his own daughter. Our assumptions are also based on these opinions: that these things do not in any way represent good parenting skills or a man who should be believed on every word. You are making assumptions about the daughter based on these facts: she posted a disrespectful rant on facebook and locked it so that only her friends could see it. Your opinions seem to be that using a gun against a teenager's personal possession does not damage a man's credibility in the least, and that teenagers are never to be believed. In my opinion, that's a pretty biased stance to take.

You act like being disrespectful to your parents is always a crime, even when it's only in a rant at an audience of friends. Frankly, it is not, and nothing I have seen of this man suggests that he is a father worthy of respect. I may be wrong, of course, but he was the one who put that segment of his life on the internet.

I also agree that she is probably not in imminent danger of being shot. It does not mean that the presence of a gun isn't always an implicit threat. It does not mean that she would not feel threatened. Who knows, maybe she would not be. It still does not make it a decent thing to do.

Does a spoiled, lazy brat save up for her own laptop? Does a spoiled, lazy brat go to sleep at ten pm and wake up at five?

Let me, in the interest of full disclosure, admit that I am too close to her age for you not to make me a tad uncomfortable. I don't want to start anything, but I suspect you may have a touch of ageism. I don't know where you're coming from, and I will be the first to say that teenagers can be bratty, but that is definitely how your comments are coming off, just so you know.

Anyway, sorry for the essay.
tiddlywinks103 10th-Feb-2012 09:22 am (UTC)
I know how Facebook works, thanks. I don't think she's lying, I think she's exaggerating, as teens do, when it comes to their parents making them 'slaves'. I don't think it's "kids these days!", I think kids have always talked shit about their parents, and will continue to do so, but with the internet age, kids now put up those completely normal feelings on a public forum, and that is not ok, to me.

It goes into how soooooooo many people get in trouble for what they say on the internet, now, and people need to adapt the fact that there are certain rules for the internet and what you disclose. It's not ageism, it's growing up in a time where there were not resources to put you family on blast, for large numbers of people to see, in a second. Facebook lets you do that, and there are consequences. To her, it's no big deal, it's what all her peers do, but to her parents and the adults in her life, that is so hurtful and rude, they probably can't even fathom why she would do something like this over and over.

He was out of line for destroying her property, full stop. He overreacted, and the shooting won't teach her anything of value, on that front. But I do not believe he's so violent monster, who people need to call CPS on. but yes, I'm biased, you're biased, and there's not enough full info, so all I can say is I fall on his side, with needing to address her actions in aggressive way(that went from understandable to fuck no), I fall on her side with him not being allowed to freaking break her shit for it, like that. Until more facts come out, I'll stay biased, I guess.

lizzy_someone 10th-Feb-2012 09:26 am (UTC)
Uh, it wouldn't have been in "a public forum" had the father not sneaked past privacy settings meant to keep him out, read her private shit, and then posted it in a public YouTube video.
tiddlywinks103 10th-Feb-2012 09:59 am (UTC)
I'm sorry, you're 15 on Facebook. You don't get full-on privacy on a social media site, as a minor, imo.
sarahofcroydon 10th-Feb-2012 11:27 am (UTC)
Wouldn't that be a reason to condemn his behaviour even more? She made attempts within her knowledge to keep it private; within her understanding it was private. She doesn't sound like someone I'd want to get to know, but you're being mighty critical of someone who is young, immature and vented in what she mistakenly thought was a private space instead of the person who nastily violated that space and then destroyed her property with completely unwarranted violence.
meran_flash 11th-Feb-2012 07:12 am (UTC)
I'm glad you never had anything that you needed to talk about that you didn't feel like you could share with your parents at that age.

Me, well, I was gay.
lizzy_someone 12th-Feb-2012 11:44 am (UTC)
Firstly, privacy on social media sites can be vitally important for teens who are queer, trans, questioning, or survivors of abuse/assault; who are consensually sexually active who have slut-shaming parents; who have had abortions and who have misogynistic parents who would disown them; etc. Secondly, irrespective of what privacy policies for fifteen-year-olds should be, the fact remains that it was still a privacy-locked forum and the only reason her note made it out onto a public forum was that her father put it there himself.
the_glow_worm 10th-Feb-2012 09:33 am (UTC)
Wait, but he was the one who put the video up on youtube, without even the privacy of the filters on facebook. I mean, honestly, would we even know anything about what goes on in this family if he hadn't done that? He's the one who put up all their dirty laundry where everyone could see it. You should be criticizing them equally on that front: the daughter for doing it first, the father for doing it idiotically.

I don't think the "I'm biased, you're biased" route is a good counter. That's not an excuse for actually ignoring what's happening here.
tiddlywinks103 10th-Feb-2012 09:58 am (UTC)
He outed her and her piss poor behavior, which I don't find a problem with parents doing, at times, to teach a lesson about accountability. The shooting of her shit was not ok. The public calling out? I understand.

I'm not ignoring what happened here, I just don't see this as some symptom of an abusively horrible household, with this one post.
curseangel 10th-Feb-2012 10:19 am (UTC)
I see it as absolutely abusive, for many reasons:

1. He reacted violently and in an excessive manner, shooting her property.

2. He made what amounted to a threat on his daughter's life and the lives of her friends ("dedicating" the shooting to them).

3. He publicly humiliated her, intentionally, in a public forum.

4. She could now be the victim of taunting and bullying at school due to his public humiliation.

5. She could now be out the job he's apparently so desperate for her to get because of his public humiliation.

6. The video is clearly an attempt to emotionally abuse and control his daughter in an abusive way, with the threat of violence, the gun, level of overkill (nine hollow-point explosive slugs? That would put down nine PEOPLE), "dedication," publication, and his trying to make all of her complaints out to be less than she said or nothing at all. By making public his denunciation, he makes it less likely that anyone will believe her if she says that she is abused in the future. He is basically ensuring that she knows that he can and will use extreme violence and force against her, that she has no possessions of her own, and that no one will believe her if she says that he's done anything wrong.

This is seriously abusive. If you don't see that, you're... naive, to say the least.
tiddlywinks103 10th-Feb-2012 10:24 am (UTC)
I guess I'm naive then, because I do not think he's was threatening to shoot any of these kids, nor do I think the gun represented a threat to emotionally control or abuse his child in any damaging way. There are other posters on here that explained the gun aspect much better than I can, so you should read their views, because I did not see the gun use as indicative of him HAVING to be an abusive, evil person. I see why people are upset about it, I just am not.

Here: http://ontd-political.livejournal.com/9304508.html?thread=571622844#t571622844

I see you don't agree, though, so yeah...

Edited at 2012-02-10 10:30 am (UTC)
curseangel 10th-Feb-2012 11:51 am (UTC)
I consider using a gun against her personal property, while using ammunition designed to tear through human bone and organs and cause the maximum possible damage, far more times than was necessary to make his statement, while filming it and dedicating the film to his daughter and her friends to be tantamount to a serious threat and to emotional abuse.

His other actions make the abuse more clear: He violated his daughter's privacy, he makes sure through assigning chores "at random" simply because she's done her regular chores that she has no personal or "down" time (see page two of comments here), he sees no problem with stealing and destroying his daughter's personal property, he publicly humiliates his daughter for a very minor slight, and he lies about her publicly (I do not believe a word of what he says in that video, especially considering that he has already been proven to contradict himself - in the video he states that she has very few chores, but in his Facebook comments he indicates that he assigns her many extra chores every day simply so that she has no or less time to spend on the computer)... among other things that I've neglected or forgotten here.

It creates an atmosphere of fear for his daughter - it states that she has no property, that she has no expectation of privacy, and furthermore, if he does harm her or take her property or actively make her fear for her life or her things, he has made it clear that no one will believe her. This post -- your comments! -- are proof enough of this, as you've dismissed her as just a lying teenager who couldn't possibly legitimately feel abused. You've also dismissed and delegitimized the honestly horrifying emotionally abusive aspects of this case.

Still more, he's opened her up to abuse and bullying from people at her school and, actually, all over the world by posting this on YouTube with her real name.

This goes much further than his shooting a gun - but yes, I do believe aiming a gun at something that belongs to someone, especially something as essential and often containing personal things as a computer, is tantamount to a threat and to abuse. I think it was an attempt to emotionally control his daughter by conveying that he could do this to any of her things - her cellphone, maybe, next - or even to her (hence the fucking hollow-point rounds - I sincerely doubt he did not have regular ammunition for his gun; he used hollow-points to make a statement, and hollow-points are used against people, to make sure you don't have to use more than one or two shots to kill someone). It was an attempt to manipulate her through use of force into never, ever, ever speaking ill of her family or her chores or anything, ever again, anywhere, because his violation of her privacy and subsequent excessive, emotionally abusive actions would show her clearly that there is nowhere she can write or say anything without his finding out and punishing her for it in an extreme and violent manner.

He was silencing her, and yes, he was emotionally abusing her. Whether you believe it or not. Frankly, I'm appalled-- no, disgusted-- that you honestly think this is normal parenting and that his actions and reactions were normal and justifiable in any way. It honestly seriously disturbs me.

Edited at 2012-02-10 11:52 am (UTC)
spiegel11th 10th-Feb-2012 12:05 pm (UTC)
I can't say that I like this comment, given the topic and so forth, but I am in complete agreement with you. You've managed to vocalise how I feel about the shooting business much better than I could - I was sticking to the general matter of parental discipline and little more.
tabaqui 10th-Feb-2012 12:21 pm (UTC)
YES.
squeeful 10th-Feb-2012 12:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you for your eloquence and the time and thought you've put into this.
emofordino 10th-Feb-2012 01:39 pm (UTC)
thank you for betting this in words better than i could! this whole situation is just so wrong on so many levels.
maladaptive 10th-Feb-2012 02:52 pm (UTC)
Thank you for explaining this so clearly.

The video gave me the creeps, and I don't even live with the guy.
myrana 10th-Feb-2012 04:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you for this.
lady_grace 10th-Feb-2012 05:48 pm (UTC)
THANK YOU
mrasaki 10th-Feb-2012 07:14 pm (UTC)
Thank you for articulating why this whole situation is horrible so clearly.

I am also disturbed by the number of people who seem to think this is normal parenting behavior -- there is a HUGE difference between being a strict parent who is disciplining out of love versus what this man is doing. And considering his own behavior, I'm not surprised that the daughter is so vitriolically angry and lashing out (privately).
ladyvoldything 11th-Feb-2012 01:08 pm (UTC)
Hey, I notice you didn't respond to curseangel, I wonder why?

Never have children. Ever. If you think that his controlling, emotionally abusive and violent behavior is alright and she's a liar, the world would suffer for you reproducing. Attitudes like this are what promote abuse culture.
mrasaki 10th-Feb-2012 07:20 pm (UTC)
what is disturbing me about your attitude here is, what if she's NOT exaggerating? What if she is living in an abusive situation and is using the only means of expression she can?

In many child abuse cases it is very common for the abuser to claim that the child is exaggerating, that the child is lazy, ungrateful, disrespectful, etc etc.

I am not saying that she necessarily is being abused, but I am intensely leery of dismissing her claims just because she's a teenager and the assumption that all teenagers are emo, over-exaggerating liars. Judging from her /father's/ behavior and later comments, I am disinclined to believe that her claims are all false.
tigerdreams 10th-Feb-2012 09:54 pm (UTC)
Yeah. Since when is it okay to default to assuming that a potential victim is lying about abuse?
tigerdreams 10th-Feb-2012 09:32 am (UTC)
Please don't apologize for your length. This was an amazing comment and you should feel good.
silmaril 10th-Feb-2012 03:19 pm (UTC)
We're making assumptions about the father based on these facts: that he reacted to a disrespectful post that he was not supposed to see by publicly humiliating her over the internet, pulling out a gun, and destroying the personal property of his own daughter.

This, and everything else you said, and in the interest of full disclosure I am almost exactly twice her age.
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