ONTD Political

GOP's Wet Dream: Censoring Reality!

1:54 am - 02/14/2012
Finally, We Can Censor that Potty Mouth Webster and His Obscene Dictionaries (and His TV Show Too!).

Arizona Bill Would Likely Prohibit Teachers And Professors From Teaching Any Book With ‘Profanity’

A new bill in Arizona is seeking to impose harsh restrictions on teachers’ conduct, even in their own homes. The bill, SB 1467, states that educators at the state’s public schools and universities can be fined, suspended and ultimately fired if they “engage in speech or conduct that would violate the standards adopted by the Federal Communications Commission concerning obscenity, indecency and profanity if that speech or conduct were broadcast on television or radio.”

That does a great deal to limit what can be taught in classrooms. Banning books is certainly not a new practice, but this law would cover far more than controversial books. Here’s a look at some of the key books that would be outlawed in Arizona classrooms:

Worse, as Angus Johnston notes, the bill is so ineptly drafted that it could intrude deeply into teacher’s private lives. SB 1467 doesn’t just ban public speech or conduct, but all speech and conduct. That means public school teachers in Arizona will be forbidden from engaging in any FCC-regulated activities no matter where they are. That means no sex, no going to the bathroom, no cursing and no showering. Ever.

One of the bill’s five sponsors, State Senator Lori Klein (R-AZ), has some experience in the national spotlight. Last summer she raised eyebrows when, during an interview with a reporter from the Arizona Republic, she took out a loaded handgun and pointed it at the reporter’s chest. And in the middle of Herman Cain’s sexual harassment scandal, Klein dismissed the allegations against Cain because he had “never been anything but a gentlemen” to her, “and I am not an unattractive woman.”

Arizona Law SB 1467 Would Make It Illegal to Teach Law, History, or Literature

Just when you thought the Arizona legislature was out of bad ideas.

SB 1467, newly introduced in the Arizona State Senate, would force schools and universities to suspend, fine, and ultimately fire any teacher or professor who “engage[d] in speech or conduct that would violate the standards adopted by the federal communications commission concerning obscenity, indecency and profanity if that speech or conduct were broadcast on television or radio.”

For the first offense, you’d get a one-week suspension without pay. For the second offense, two weeks. For the third, a pink slip.

As Greg Lukianoff of the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education notes, this law would not only block the teaching of such classics as Ulysses, The Canterbury Tales, and Catcher in the Rye, it’d prohibit historians and law professors from competently discussing campus free speech regulations, since the most important Supreme Court case in that field hinged on a jacket with the slogan “Fuck The Draft” written on it.

It’s also worth noting, as Lukianoff does, that the bill would regulate professors’ actions outside the classroom, which means that merely writing the paragraph above — in a blogpost, a scholarly article, even a private email — would get you suspended.

But it’s even worse than that.

Note the language of the bill: You’re violating the law if you engage “in speech or conduct” that would violate FCC standards if “broadcast on television or radio.” Not public speech or conduct. Speech or conduct, full stop.

If this law passes, it will be illegal for any “person who provides classroom instruction” in the state of Arizona to have sex.

Or pee.


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doverz 14th-Feb-2012 05:27 pm (UTC)
mollywobbles867 14th-Feb-2012 05:31 pm (UTC)

riath 14th-Feb-2012 05:41 pm (UTC)
mte Daniel.

You're gonna outlaw teaching the dictionary and legislate what teachers can do in their own homes? Surely that violates the right to privacy doesn't it?
hardblue 14th-Feb-2012 05:41 pm (UTC)
It seems like Arizona is trying to be a cult.
quizzicalsphinx 14th-Feb-2012 05:43 pm (UTC)
What the hell is in the water out there in Arizona? Is it some chemical that suppresses common sense?
spankmypirate 14th-Feb-2012 05:44 pm (UTC)
The first A I ever got at Uni was for writing an essay about The Wife of Bath. Oop.

Also, I liked A Thousand Splendid Suns more than The Kite Runner.
girly123 14th-Feb-2012 05:48 pm (UTC)
While this law is completely insipid, the article is being pretty alarmist. Teachers could censor out FCC noncompliant words if they wanted to teach law or history, so saying that it's BANNED FOREVER!!11!1 doesn't do the opposition any good, especially if they use the arguments presented here to bolster their case.

Again, this law is fucking stupid and all manner of unnecessary, but dramatic conjecturing helps no one in cases like these.

Edited at 2012-02-14 05:48 pm (UTC)
ohmiya_sg 14th-Feb-2012 07:20 pm (UTC)
therisingmoon 14th-Feb-2012 05:56 pm (UTC)

what the fuck is in the water in arizona?
rimpala 14th-Feb-2012 06:54 pm (UTC)
Not purified? Natural arsenic deposits. Makes me wonder sometimes...
mirhanda 14th-Feb-2012 05:56 pm (UTC)
ARIZONA! *shakes fist*
redstar826 14th-Feb-2012 06:11 pm (UTC)
I wonder how that would work for art classes, because LOL I've looked at sooooo many pictures/statues of naked people this semester and our conversations have included such things as the ancient Greeks' opinions regarding penis size.
thelilyqueen 22nd-Feb-2012 02:29 pm (UTC)
So... purely out of academic curiosity, of course ( ;) )... what was the perfect length/girth to the Greeks, and why?
riath 14th-Feb-2012 06:25 pm (UTC)

I would love it if someone trolled all five of those bill sponsors with this video.
aviv_b 14th-Feb-2012 06:43 pm (UTC)
But...but....The Decameron! Candide! The whole of art history:

from H. Bosch

to Goya

even baby Jesus - OH NOOOZ:

Good news though, you'll still be able to discuss Jeff Koons. Meh.

Edited at 2012-02-14 06:55 pm (UTC)
rimpala 14th-Feb-2012 07:03 pm (UTC)
I dunno, those vacuums look pretty phallic to me...
darsynia 14th-Feb-2012 06:48 pm (UTC)
It's sad that the level of wtf is so high lately that after boggling over the implications of this for 20 minutes I just thought, 'Well, there goes the need for contraception for teachers in Arizona!' SMH
oudeteron 14th-Feb-2012 06:49 pm (UTC)

At last, protesting with profanity is in itself a crucial statement.
kalikahuntress 14th-Feb-2012 06:53 pm (UTC)
I wish we could vacate the sane people in Arizona to other places they would like to live and quarantine the rest.
rimpala 14th-Feb-2012 07:01 pm (UTC)
You mean the American Indians? I feel sorry for them, they have to be like 'WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE!?"
rimpala 14th-Feb-2012 07:00 pm (UTC)
Well shoot, good thing the Bible is already out of public schools... heheh.

Or wait, how is someone supposed to teach anatomy or biology classes?

Also this law sounds completely impossible to enforce...

Edited at 2012-02-14 07:07 pm (UTC)
emeraldus 14th-Feb-2012 07:09 pm (UTC)
So, Arizona, when do you start opening up the camps?
dafairyness 14th-Feb-2012 07:44 pm (UTC)
So there won't be any post '45 literature classes, I see. Or art history. Or... art classes in general? Will they be able to draw naked forms? And what about drama classes?

It's good to see that legislators really think their legislation through before bring it the chambers.
nesmith 14th-Feb-2012 08:19 pm (UTC)
Wow--so glad two of my friends got the hell outta THAT place.

Not to mention that's not even the most fun part of the Canterbury Tales, heh. The parts they don't tell you about in high school.
elmocho 14th-Feb-2012 10:21 pm (UTC)
When I was in high school (in Arizona,ha, deal with it, legislator who wrote this law!) my teacher taught the Miller's Tale, but would not teach the Reeve's Tale.
tamaryokucha 14th-Feb-2012 08:47 pm (UTC)
How the hell would they even be able to enforce this? WTF Arizona?
fizzy_pepsi 14th-Feb-2012 09:58 pm (UTC)
"and universities"

girly123 14th-Feb-2012 10:50 pm (UTC)
FUCKING SERIOUSLY. They don't EVEN have a leg to stand on there.
erunamiryene 14th-Feb-2012 10:01 pm (UTC)
Dear Arizona,



If this law passes, it will be illegal for any “person who provides classroom instruction” in the state of Arizona to have sex.
Or pee.

... do these people READ what they're putting up for a vote? If I was this sloppy with my coursework, I'd be kicked out of school.
stormqueen280 19th-Feb-2012 05:06 am (UTC)
It is rather sad that a bill doesn't need to be as well-written as a high school essay, isn't it?
kyra_neko_rei 14th-Feb-2012 10:02 pm (UTC)
Well, look on the bright side: if they try to make a class on the Bible we can just point to the part about Onan masturbating.
stormqueen280 19th-Feb-2012 05:08 am (UTC)
WHERE is that part? I need material for the next time I'm bothered by religious extremists.
elmocho 14th-Feb-2012 10:33 pm (UTC)
Bills like this are why I would like to spend my spare time exploring the parts of my state that have as few people as possible.
goggle_kid 14th-Feb-2012 11:57 pm (UTC)
Gah... I can't figure out how to embed youtube videos in comments but... this seemed appropriate/

(Yeah it's an old Family Guy Joke...)


Edited at 2012-02-14 11:58 pm (UTC)
lizzy_someone 15th-Feb-2012 01:37 am (UTC)
I'm kind of intrigued by that dictionary entry that says the word "fuck" is "usually obscene," because for the life of me I cannot think of a non-obscene version of "fuck."
wesaucereyes 20th-Feb-2012 02:46 pm (UTC)
When you say it in a loving manner? Yeah, I have no idea.
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