ONTD Political

Friess suggests 'aspirin between the knees' for birth control

3:32 pm - 02/16/2012


(CNN) – While commenting Thursday on the recent contraception coverage controversy, Foster Friess, a major donor backing Rick Santorum, reflected on a more traditional, "inexpensive" form of birth control.

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sweeetkiwi 17th-Feb-2012 12:49 am (UTC)
Is this real life?
celtic_thistle 17th-Feb-2012 01:03 am (UTC)
Protip: religious freedom does NOT mean you're free to impose your religion on everyone else, shitpastry.
ladypolitik 17th-Feb-2012 01:10 am (UTC)
Fucking thank you.
tabaqui 17th-Feb-2012 01:03 am (UTC)
*more incoherent rage noises*

I seriously just cannot anymore.
deleriumd 17th-Feb-2012 01:06 am (UTC)
For a minute or so I sat there wondering how the hell crushing an aspirin tablet would prevent pregnancy.

This is surely a sign that I need to go to bed.
girly123 17th-Feb-2012 01:30 am (UTC)
Ha, I thought the exact same thing. I couldn't for the life of me understand how he expected aspirin to absorb through the knees, and what the fuck he was expecting it to do once it got there.

Clearly it's time for dinner/a nap.
_lemeurtre_ 17th-Feb-2012 01:40 am (UTC)
people are "so preoccupied" by sex because there are so many rules and regulations about stuff like birth control that should be no brainers.

Also, love the tags on this post!
ceilidh 17th-Feb-2012 02:04 am (UTC)
oh yeah, that's really gonna work wonders for my ovarian cysts and adenomyosis. thanks for the tip, dude.
kyra_neko_rei 17th-Feb-2012 02:17 am (UTC)
Reaction #1: ". . . Dude, the reproductive organs in question are actually a little higher, there."

Reaction #2: "You know you can actually say "thighs" on national TV, and nobody's ears will fall off." (Not certain about the FCC's opinion of saying "labia minora," but HIS ears might fall off.)

Reaction #3: (upon getting the joke) "Um, I think I prefer the actual contraceptives, personally. Fewer side effects, much less burdensome to use."

Reaction #4: "If you bend over you can still have penetrative vaginal sex."

Reaction #5: "Actually, this aspirin-between-the-knees thing would make a great variation for the sex game Five Dimes---instead of holding coins between your fingertips over your head and trying not to drop them before your partner gets you off, you can hold the aspirin between your knees and try not to crush it before your partner gets you off. Thanks, Mr. Friess!"

Reaction #6: "Hey, wait . . . the Party of Fiscal Responsibility (TM) wants women to spend money on aspirin to use for something they could do just as well without aspirin?"

Reaction #7: "If you get five or six or eight jars of aspirin, and stack them one on top of the other and hold them pressed together and put them between your knees and use your knees to hold them pressed together, that kind of makes for a pretty cool spreader bar."

Reaction #8: "When will science give us the ability to throw things through TV screens? Fuck the flying car, I want to fling poo at this guy like a monkey.
nonnycat 17th-Feb-2012 07:18 am (UTC)
Dying laughing here.
amyura 17th-Feb-2012 09:06 pm (UTC)
Great, thanks to 5 and 8, my weekend is planned!

And I may or may not be kidding.
yooperchild 17th-Feb-2012 02:41 am (UTC)
I don't get any of this. Stupid question, but do they really just expect to to 1) Never have sex 2) Have a bunch of babies?

I get a lot of them are, "Just don't have sex!!!", but I'm married, which means according to them, my sex is fine. I don't want 20 kids.

I'm supposed to just put aspirin between my knees then? Still?
mirhanda 17th-Feb-2012 06:33 pm (UTC)
BUT YOUR HUSBAND HAS RIGHTS SO YOU'D BETTER JUST DO WHAT HE SAYS!
amyura 17th-Feb-2012 03:08 am (UTC)
Who the fuck votes for this shitwads? I got nothing beyond another big fat what the FUCK.
sunhawk 17th-Feb-2012 04:26 am (UTC)
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that guy and the horse he rode in on!
alryssa 17th-Feb-2012 05:00 am (UTC)
This week is just determined to see me explode with rage at everything, isn't it.

*flips tables*
mingemonster 17th-Feb-2012 06:42 am (UTC)
Actually, back in your day women got pregnant and had their lives ruined/died
lickbrains 17th-Feb-2012 06:48 am (UTC)
His smug, stupid-ass face needs to meet my fist.
astridmyrna 17th-Feb-2012 08:24 am (UTC)
Pardon me, but I believe that 100 pill bottles of aspirin are on sale, and after taking one for my headache, I will send my robot minion to shove the rest on a certain old white man's urethral opening.
carmy_w 18th-Feb-2012 12:17 am (UTC)
*standing ovation*

This is one area where my immediate reaction is an extremely pleasant fantasy of gelding this man in the most painful way possible.

Things like a cheese grater come to mind.
soleiltropiques Awful17th-Feb-2012 02:55 pm (UTC)
Wow. I feel so bad for all the US women who are getting treated like crap by dickwads like this guy and Santorum.

I'm from Montreal, Quebec, Canada, and I work in the health care sector. The reason I mention this is that I've spent quite a bit of time going around the hospitals here -and that I learned something really sad a while back.

I kept wondering why so many women of 80 years old or older had had hysterectomies (with or without oophorectomy and removal of the fallopian tubes). I finally found out from an older gynecologist: it harked back to the fact that this was a place that was very very very Catholic and very very religious (until the 1960s or so).

Tubal ligation surgery existed for my grandmother's generation, but it was illegal to perform this surgery here. Why? Because (i) the Catholic church had such control over all our institutions and they mandated this, (ii) tubal ligation is essentially a contraceptive surgery.

So an entire generation of women, many of whom had very large families (read, 16 children in the case of my great-grandparents) had NO CONTRACEPTIVE OPTIONS. Many gynecologists saw this and 'conspired' with the women in question to perform hysterectomies for 'medical' reasons. Said medical reason being, of course, the fact that the woman simply did not want any more children. Later, when the pill showed up, priests started excommunicating women (=a big thing in those days when all your neighbors and friends were practising Catholics) who were found to be taking oral contraceptives.

It looks like Catholics haven't changed that much, given that Santorum is one.
soleiltropiques Re: Awful17th-Feb-2012 03:07 pm (UTC)
Er -replace 'Catholics' by 'the Catholic church'.

I think I need coffee.

:-)
tiger0range 17th-Feb-2012 03:43 pm (UTC)
I hope he contributes hundreds of millions of dollars to the Santorum campaign. The less money festering in his pockets the better.

And he is the best campaigner against the Republican party I have seen yet.
zombieroadtrip 17th-Feb-2012 07:52 pm (UTC)
Haven't heard this cute little bit of delightfulness since I was in high school (from a teacher). How pleasant to know it's still around, and that people still think they're clever for it.
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