ONTD Political

PWNAGE thenakedcat

JUST AS I SUSPECTED...

9:31 pm - 04/10/2012

Is Rick Perry a Creepy Pee-er, or Just High on Pills?



by Max Read

Governor Rick Perry is a moron, by almost any account. But a far more dangerous personal affliction may have doomed him from the start: an inability to pee without singing folk songs. An exclusive excerpt from Politico's upcoming e-book Inside the Circus reveals a devastating bathroom anecdote that could capsize Perry's political career:

Virtually every Republican hopeful had his or her moment. Handsome and down-home, Rick Perry had once seemed a natural champion for the Tea Party pitchfork populism that prevailed in American politics on the eve of the primaries. But some knew better: in September, a close ally of Perry's had remarked to a friend that if Perry were smart, and if they had a couple of months to prepare, then they'd have a shot. The man added, "But he ain't, and we don't."

A bad back doomed any chance Perry stood to break through. It became an open secret that he was using painkillers in sufficient dosages to keep him standing through the two-hour debates. The manager of a rival campaign was at a urinal in an empty bathroom in Hanover, New Hampshire, before the Bloomberg News debate on October 11, when he heard someone come through the door loudly singing "I've Been Working on the Railroad." Wondering who was making all the noise, the campaign manager turned his head and saw, to his surprise, the governor of Texas. Perry came down the row of about twenty urinals and stood companionably close by. Nonplussed, the campaign manager made a hasty exit; as the bathroom door closed, he could hear Perry still merrily singing away: "I-I-I've been working on the ra-a-i-i-l-road, all-l-l the live-long day . . ."

Asked about the episode, a top campaign official said, "He whistles. I wouldn't read anything into it."


Rick Perry: high on pills? Or urinal weirdo? You can pre-order Inside the Circus here.

Source

Heard this story on the latest episode of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me and laughed until I couldn't BREATHE at the panelists' suggestions for other Shit Rick Perry Says When High.

Suggestions for additional tags welcome <3.
Leave a Comment
lickety_split 11th-Apr-2012 04:02 am (UTC)
Is Rick Perry a Creepy Pee-er, or Just High on Pills?

I think we all know the truth...
layweed 11th-Apr-2012 04:08 am (UTC)
The sad thing is, admitting to being high on pain pills would actually be a betterexcuse than the fact that he's simply an idiot.
chimbleysweep 11th-Apr-2012 04:13 am (UTC)
Circuses were/are far more organized and regimented than any political shitfest.

/circus stan judge away
13chapters 11th-Apr-2012 04:45 am (UTC)
what is this story. O____O

btw I think the Roy Blunt tag is for the asshole senator from Missouri, not the dude on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me.
thenakedcat 11th-Apr-2012 04:48 am (UTC)
Oh foo. This is what comes of posting while blinded by tears of laughter.
executivehpfan 11th-Apr-2012 05:26 am (UTC)
I feel like the governor job in my state is a place for rich parents to foist their embarrassing, under-achieving children into.
layweed 11th-Apr-2012 06:07 am (UTC)
On the bright side, it's a constitutionally weak position, so he could be doing much more damage...
executivehpfan 11th-Apr-2012 06:12 am (UTC)
This is true. lol Thanks for being positive. I'm so ready to just beat my head against the wall these days.
beoweasel 11th-Apr-2012 07:11 am (UTC)
So, you're saying I should run for Governor of Texas? Where's my stetson?
executivehpfan 11th-Apr-2012 07:16 am (UTC)
I'd vote for you in a heartbeat.
4o5pastmidnight 11th-Apr-2012 08:00 am (UTC)
I went to high school with Perry's daughter... and I can say she's a good candidate for governor as well based on your assessment.
baked_goldfish 11th-Apr-2012 06:20 am (UTC)
Between this, the maple syrup, and "oops," I just don't understand how he was ever...anything.

It became an open secret that he was using painkillers in sufficient dosages to keep him standing through the two-hour debates.

And I don't get why his handlers didn't go to the debate organizers and ask to do them seated. Nobody would have cared that he can't stand for two hours.
spyral_path 11th-Apr-2012 06:54 am (UTC)
Maybe for the same reason that FDR never wanted to be photographed using his wheelchair and JFK wore a back brace to conceal his physical weakness? We live in an ablelist society that demands our presidents and presidential candidates project an image of health and vigor. I'm no fan of Rick Perry, and I'm glad he drooped out of the presidential race, but I've seen people close to me brought to tears from back pain often enough to feel sympathy for him after reading this article.

Edited at 2012-04-11 06:58 am (UTC)
lizzy_someone 11th-Apr-2012 07:58 am (UTC)
Yeah, I hate Rick Perry, but it's really unfair that the debates were not easily accessible for people with his medical condition.
lickbrains 11th-Apr-2012 04:14 pm (UTC)
Same here.
baked_goldfish 11th-Apr-2012 05:44 pm (UTC)
Yeah, you're right. I guess I was thinking (in part) that because everyone knows that FDR and JFK used a wheelchair and back brace respectively, the "infirm" or "weak" charges would fizzle pretty quickly - but you and others in this thread are probably right that they would have continued on way longer and way harsher than I'd assumed.

Edited at 2012-04-11 06:06 pm (UTC)
mingemonster 11th-Apr-2012 10:19 am (UTC)
people care a lot, actually, since disabled people are seen as inferior to able-bodied ones
makemerun 11th-Apr-2012 03:34 pm (UTC)
Nobody would have cared that he can't stand for two hours.

Ahahahahahahahaha

Your faith in humanity needs taken down a few notches, jsyk.
baked_goldfish 11th-Apr-2012 05:47 pm (UTC)
Guess so.
makemerun 11th-Apr-2012 06:15 pm (UTC)
I really wish you were right, though. ):
fenris_lorsrai 11th-Apr-2012 03:39 pm (UTC)
There were a couple debates (in smaller venues) during last election cycle where all the candidates were seated, so its not unheard of.

but yeah, there would have been a zillion stories over how he was "infirm" "weak" and "incapable of fulfilling his duties" if he'd asked to sit.
baked_goldfish 11th-Apr-2012 05:52 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I remember those debates - in '07, '08 and '11 there were a few round-table or otherwise seated debates in both the primaries and the general. That's one of the reasons why I wondered why they didn't just ask for all the debates to be seated debates, since it's not an unknown format and sounds like it would've helped alleviate some pain. But you guys are right, I guess, that it would have been talked about endlessly in nasty ways.
4o5pastmidnight 11th-Apr-2012 08:01 am (UTC)
You know, there are times when I love my state, but god damnit why do we keep electing this asshole?
bib_specialist 11th-Apr-2012 01:38 pm (UTC)
First Larry Craig, now this.
alierakieron I just lost a bet. — 11th-Apr-2012 02:39 pm (UTC)
My best friend and I used to play "What is Rick Perry on?" I was voting pot, she was voting painkillers.
hola_meg_a_cola Re: I just lost a bet. — 12th-Apr-2012 04:00 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry for your lose :(
luminescnece 11th-Apr-2012 04:20 pm (UTC)
Most medicinal marijuana users are either a helluva lot more competent while high than Perry appears to be (whatever he's on) or they wouldn't go for it.

In Perry's case though, he's a good candidate for medical marijuana. Back pain is something that it is fairly well proven to help with. I'd actually try to get him to try some medicinal doses (typically less than recreational doses) to see if they kept him pain free and idiot face free better than his meds. A lot of people use marijuana instead of percosets or stronger prescription meds because they don't like to get as loopy as those meds make them.

What makes me sad is that Perry is being accused of abusing prescription meds. If he needs them to stand for 2 hours, that isn't abusing them, its abusing HIMSELF. He should have been able to use a stool to lean on or something, but obviously someone felt that hurt his chances. And I think that's sick.

Whatever I think of Rick Perry (and it isn't much), I know too many people who have back pain (worked in a medicinal marijuana dispensary for over a year) to condemn him on this factor-his opinions are enough on that front.
dixiedolphin 11th-Apr-2012 05:32 pm (UTC)
As much as I despise Rick Perry, reading this inspires genuine sympathy for him. As someone with a chronic medical condition myself and who has to take painkillers daily (albeit, milder, non-narcotic ones) just to be pain-free enough to get through my day at work, I'm not pleased that people are ridiculing Perry for having to take painkillers to get through a debate.

The fact that this nation's culture would either brand him as "weak" for sitting down during a debate to alleviate his legitimate pain or accuse him of being a "drug addict" for taking necessary painkillers is very disturbing to me.
corroded_tears 11th-Apr-2012 07:00 pm (UTC)
I have the sinking feeling we'll have a(n) female, several POCs, maybe even WOCs, openly gay,unmarried president before an openly handicapped person.
dixiedolphin 11th-Apr-2012 07:25 pm (UTC)
At least not in this day and age of constant media attention. After all, there was FDR and his wheelchair in the past. He worked hard to rarely be photographed in it, but in today's world that would be impossible.
corroded_tears 11th-Apr-2012 09:12 pm (UTC)
IA :(
bestdaywelived 12th-Apr-2012 04:17 am (UTC)
I think it would really depend. I could see a white, Christian man with mild cerebral palsy or other physical disability (amputee, etc.) get elected before any of those other groups, quite honestly. Then again, I can't see the American public voting for a wheelchair user, a deaf person, a blind person, or anyone with chronic pain issues.

I remember the vitriol about Michele Bachmann's migraines. I mean, COME ON, there are so many things that suck about her beyond her chronic illness, attack it.
bethan_b_bad 13th-Apr-2012 12:22 am (UTC)
Obviously not the US, but in the last government the UK had a near-blind Prime Minister (Gordon Brown has only one functional eye, and he's going blind in that one, too) and a totally blind Cabinet member, David Blunkett, who used to bring his guide dog into Parliament with him.

So it could happen! *attempts to be comforting*
rjdaae 12th-Apr-2012 05:02 am (UTC)
I agree. :(
Leave a comment
This page was loaded May 20th 2013, 1:11 am GMT.