Famous gay bar in Los Angeles bans bachelorette parties until marriage becomes equal
8:30 pm - 05/25/2012
Twice voted the best gay bar in the world, The Abbey in Los Angeles has banned all bachelorette parties until marriage becomes equal for gay couples.
David Cooley, founder and president of the bar, told CBS that he gets flooded with requests for bachelorette parties on Fridays and Saturdays. “I just felt after seeing so many bachelorette parties… having our wonderful straight girlfriends having a special time, a special night, having fun that it’s almost a slap in the face to my clientele,” Mr Cooley said.
“Myself being a gay person a kind of slap in my face that I couldn’t have that same experience,” he added. ““So I thought that I would put a ban on bachelorette parties until every person will have the right to have a marriage and be able to marry their loved one.”
Mr Cooley has also released a press statement, which he says intends to confront an “offensive heterosexual tradition [that] flaunts marriage inequality in the face of gays and lesbians”:
Every Friday and Saturday night, we’re flooded with requests from straight girls in penis hats who want to ogle our gogos, dance with the gays and celebrate their pending nuptials. They are completely unaware that the people around them are legally prohibited from getting married. Over the past 22 years, The Abbey has been a place that accepts everyone, gay, straight, lesbian, transgender, bisexual and everything in between. We love our straight girlfriends and they are welcome here, just not for bachelorette parties. It has long been a policy at The Abbey to deny admission to groups in costume, including Bachelorette regalia. Bachelorette parties had previously been allowed inside if they removed their costumes. The Abbey’s Bachelorette Ban comes on the heels of a ban on Gay Marriage in North Carolina and a number of other states across the south. The Abbey encourages other gay-owned and operated establishments to institute their own bans as a sign of solidarity until Marriage is legal everywhere for everyone.
PinkNews.co.uk understands that the bar’s patrons, both gay and straight, have welcomed the ban, saying it was time for those who frequent gay bars to stand up more fully for gay rights.
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David Cooley, founder and president of the bar, told CBS that he gets flooded with requests for bachelorette parties on Fridays and Saturdays. “I just felt after seeing so many bachelorette parties… having our wonderful straight girlfriends having a special time, a special night, having fun that it’s almost a slap in the face to my clientele,” Mr Cooley said.
“Myself being a gay person a kind of slap in my face that I couldn’t have that same experience,” he added. ““So I thought that I would put a ban on bachelorette parties until every person will have the right to have a marriage and be able to marry their loved one.”
Mr Cooley has also released a press statement, which he says intends to confront an “offensive heterosexual tradition [that] flaunts marriage inequality in the face of gays and lesbians”:
Every Friday and Saturday night, we’re flooded with requests from straight girls in penis hats who want to ogle our gogos, dance with the gays and celebrate their pending nuptials. They are completely unaware that the people around them are legally prohibited from getting married. Over the past 22 years, The Abbey has been a place that accepts everyone, gay, straight, lesbian, transgender, bisexual and everything in between. We love our straight girlfriends and they are welcome here, just not for bachelorette parties. It has long been a policy at The Abbey to deny admission to groups in costume, including Bachelorette regalia. Bachelorette parties had previously been allowed inside if they removed their costumes. The Abbey’s Bachelorette Ban comes on the heels of a ban on Gay Marriage in North Carolina and a number of other states across the south. The Abbey encourages other gay-owned and operated establishments to institute their own bans as a sign of solidarity until Marriage is legal everywhere for everyone.
PinkNews.co.uk understands that the bar’s patrons, both gay and straight, have welcomed the ban, saying it was time for those who frequent gay bars to stand up more fully for gay rights.
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*finds none*
That said, this is awesome and I agree with it. I'm also not surprised there were bachelorette parties there, either. Last time I went there it was half overrun with women, AND I still got tailgated by a very, very straight man. D:
I always wonder if people see my wedding ring and think I'm one of those straight girls who "loves her queers" though.
Yeah, this. I'm not married but I'm very fem. It's kind of awkward being a stealth!queer in gay bars.
I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea that people are doing it intentionally. Ignorance most definitely isn't an excuse, and like I said I support this, but I don't think that every person who's planned a bachelorette party is thinking they're hurting others in doing so. On that note, isn't the whole having the bachelorette party as an excuse to get piss drunk old yet? God I'm going to kill my bridesmaids if that's what they plan for mine in March.
but who is actually saying this though?
don't think that every person who's planned a bachelorette party is thinking they're hurting others in doing so.
Yeah, that's kind of the point of this article. That these straight women are so blinded by their privilege that it doesn't even occur to them that they are being offensive.
I didn't know bachelorette parties at gay clubs were a thing. Hmm...I need to get out more.
On a tangentally related topic, I got married in March and I asked my best guy friend who happens to be gay to be my best man. Now I feel like I might have done a really dickish thing because I unintentionally was waving my privilege in his face by having him be a part of something he isn't legally allowed to have in our state (North Carolina). Way to go, me. I think I should apologize to him for not realizing how difficult that event must have been for him. I feel like an ass that I potentially hurt one of my best friends and didn't even realize it because of my privilege. I usually feel like an okay ally, but it goes to show that me and every other straight person still has a lot to learn. :(
Also didn't know you called them bachelorette parties, in the UK its a Hen night for women and Stag night for men which is old fashioned and sexist which seems appropriate considering the event.
There's a gay bar near us and it is increasingly being inundated by straight tourists. Even well behaved, they change the nature of the bar. The minute our safe spaces contain a lot of straight people they're not safe spaces any more.
And that's well behaved - the number of times I've been groped, had drunken women plonk themselves in my lap and other such joyous occasions in a gay bar gives me grey hairs.
And the hen nights? That's just tacky. "Hey guys, come celebrate this wonderful thing I'm having that YOU CAN'T HAVE! HA HA!"
Just gross.