ONTD Political

Where's the Politics in Sex?

3:27 pm - 06/13/2012

What makes some of us uncomfortable with bisexual women? It is because we think they're either lesbians having straight sex or straight women testing out their fantasies on us before returning to men?

In today's post-modern, queer-focused world, bisexuality is being promoted to lesbians as the latest fashionable trend. This has resulted in lesbian politics, namely feminism, being passed over for sexual hedonism, where the only thing that matters is sexual pleasure and desire. Similarly, bisexuality is sold to heterosexual women as some type of recreational activity far from their "natural home" of straight sex. It is seen as "temporary lesbianism."


It is more à la mode to have sex with a man if you are a lesbian than if you're a straight woman, who is merely doing what she is expected to do "naturally." Lesbians having heterosexual sex are seen as transgressive, when in fact they are simply reverting to a traditional way of being a woman. For a straight woman, having a girlfriend on the side is almost like having the latest Prada handbag.

Camille Paglia, the most famous "anti-lesbian lesbian," has written reams about how she worships the penis and cannot understand those of us who do not. In fact Paglia, like many lesbian tourists who sleep with women on the weekend and go back to hubby on Monday morning, thinks lesbian sex needs to be "spiced up" by the odd "het" shag:

Women, I think, are naturally bisexual. You know I'm not telling lesbians to stop sleeping only with women, but to leave open a part of the brain toward men and accept male lust and find men extremely attractive and get horny in relation to men and ogle their bodies and do something with them, then sex with women will be hotter.

Has Paglia internalized so much anti-lesbian oppression that she, too, thinks that all lesbians need is a good bit of heterosexual-style shagging?

But many lesbians, and even bisexual women themselves, mistrust the concept of swinging both ways. One U.S. study of bisexuality, which draws on interviews with 400 self-identified lesbians and bisexual women, found that a substantial number of bisexuals prefer to hang out with lesbians instead of other bisexual women in social situations, and have greater political trust in lesbians than they do in other bisexual women. It was also found that "[s]ome bisexual women actually doubt whether bisexual women exist at all."

Whatever our views and politics about lesbianism may be, we cannot deny that women face compulsory heterosexuality from birth. Despite huge progress since I came out in 1977, it is still not really acceptable to reject men and choose not to live under their guardianship, whether you are in Saudi Arabia or the U.K.

When I write about making a positive choice to be a lesbian, and that I believe there is no gay (or for that matter bisexual) "gene," I am accused of being an ideological robot and therefore not genuinely sexually attracted to women. That is nonsense. I personally feel that straight women are missing out on the best sex on the planet, but that is their choice.

If we put aside lesbian feminism, the way most people approach sexuality is that they think we are straight, gay, or attracted to both sexes. For bisexual women living under the tyranny of sexism, choosing to be lesbian is a liberatory act.

Those of us who grew up in a time and context where there was a political analysis of sexuality were able to make a positive choice to be a lesbian. I believed then, and I believe now, that if bisexual women had an ounce of sexual politics, they would stop sleeping with men.


Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/julie-bindel/where-is-the-politics-in-_b_1589435.html?utm_hp_ref=two
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rex_dart 13th-Jun-2012 05:21 pm (UTC)
hinoema 14th-Jun-2012 12:30 pm (UTC)
MTE, Loki, MTE.

(OT, but I should have *never* seen Thor/ Avengers. Now I can't get a flipping thing done, I'm crushing like a kid on that man. Damn you, Hiddleston!)

Edited at 2012-06-14 12:32 pm (UTC)
heartbreakangel 13th-Jun-2012 05:29 pm (UTC)
I believed then, and I believe now, that if bisexual women had an ounce of sexual politics, they would stop sleeping with men.

What the actual fuck.

So either we don't exist, we're just playing around with other women on weekends to be trendy and stylish, or we're supposed to all become lesbians because of reasons. Uh huh. Yep. I'll get right on at about half past never.
emofordino 13th-Jun-2012 06:04 pm (UTC)
ugh, SERIOUSLY. this shit pisses me off so bad.
cornhobble 13th-Jun-2012 05:30 pm (UTC)
I believed then, and I believe now, that if bisexual women had an ounce of sexual politics, they would stop sleeping with men.

ಠ_ಠ
clevermanka 13th-Jun-2012 05:33 pm (UTC)
Kudos to you. I couldn't even read it once.
despatch_boxing 13th-Jun-2012 05:30 pm (UTC)
FUCK YOU JULIE BINDEL.



beoweasel 13th-Jun-2012 05:31 pm (UTC)
In today's post-modern, queer-focused world, bisexuality is being promoted to lesbians as the latest fashionable trend.

STOP TREATING PEOPLE'S SEXUALITY LIKE IT'S A FUCKING LIGHT-SWITCH.

Also, Bisexuals can never win.

Edit: I don't mean to make that sound flippant, as it is a serious issue.

Edited at 2012-06-13 05:33 pm (UTC)
softxasxsilence 13th-Jun-2012 05:58 pm (UTC)
you seem to have seriously misunderstood that sentence
gretchystretchy 13th-Jun-2012 05:35 pm (UTC)
I believed then, and I believe now, that if bisexual women had an ounce of sexual politics, they would stop sleeping with men.

What the actual fuck is this.
with_club_sauce 13th-Jun-2012 11:03 pm (UTC)
Ikr? Because we are able to choose whether we fall in love with a man or a woman. I get enough shit from the straight people in my life that I need to make a choice ("just be gay or straight! it's confusing that you like both!") I really don't wanna hear it from a community that I am supposedly a part of.
Bisexuals are like the punching bag of both the straight community and the queer community.
eversofar 13th-Jun-2012 05:36 pm (UTC)
i wish julie bindel would just go away.

to clarify because i've had more time to digest this: i agree with parts of this article, but my criticisms of it and general dislike of bindel are outweighing that rn. but i do agree that there is enormous pressure for women to be sexually available to men, and that for bisexual women to choose to have relationships only with women can be liberating for them (if that's what they want to do ofc).

Edited at 2012-06-13 07:43 pm (UTC)
sakuraberries 13th-Jun-2012 05:37 pm (UTC)
what the fuck even is this article.
not_emily 13th-Jun-2012 05:40 pm (UTC)
I don't even understand what's going on here.
anolinde 13th-Jun-2012 07:05 pm (UTC)
Tommy!
poetic_scribe 13th-Jun-2012 05:40 pm (UTC)
Brain...unable...to...comprehend...
sistergrimmel 13th-Jun-2012 07:25 pm (UTC)
This. This so much.
perthro 13th-Jun-2012 05:47 pm (UTC)
You want to win at sexual politics and be a feminist? Sleep whoever the fuck you want with, and don't give a fuck when someone tells you it's wrong. As long as it's consensual sex between as many adults as you like, go for it!

We've got enough people telling other people "You can't sleep with that person! It's not while married/in a long-term relationship/a person attractive to MY standards! They're gay/icky/weird/black/Jewish/whatever! You're a slut if you pick up people at a club/sleep with more than one person/have sex on the first date! WAAAAHHHH! STOP HAVING SEX!"

We do not need your concern trolling.

"Men" are not the enemy. Misogyny is the enemy. Not having sex with people you find attractive and interesting does not somehow strike down misogyny. It just deprives you of what might be really fun sex.
bleed_peroxide 13th-Jun-2012 05:50 pm (UTC)
Just... THIS to everything. If you want to fight misogyny, stop telling women who and how to fuck, or how often. Simple concept.
luminescnece 13th-Jun-2012 05:47 pm (UTC)
*Insert sentiments of outrage and incomprehension at the audacity of this article*

Because sexuality by gurd isn't complex. It's men ur wimmen. You has to choooose! (and there is a losing side apparently).

bleed_peroxide 13th-Jun-2012 05:48 pm (UTC)
I believed then, and I believe now, that if bisexual women had an ounce of sexual politics, they would stop sleeping with men.

Yes, because the way to fight sexism is by telling women who to sleep with. That's totally not defeating the point of feminism at all.

Why is so hard to accept that there are women and men that are attracted to both?
lykomancer 13th-Jun-2012 06:32 pm (UTC)
Why is so hard to accept that there are women and men that are attracted to both?

Because you're confused.
Because you're a slut.
Because you need to pick a side.
Because you're indecisive.
Because you want attention.
Because you haven't come out yet.
Because you don't want to admit you're straight.
Because you want hetero privilege and 'cover' for your lesbian activities.
Because you're just going through a phase.


...did I miss any?
erinpuff 13th-Jun-2012 05:54 pm (UTC)
wut.
emofordino 13th-Jun-2012 06:12 pm (UTC)
this is an awesome comment and you should feel awesome. i agree 1000%.
allisondawn 13th-Jun-2012 05:58 pm (UTC)
Oh.
the_glow_worm 13th-Jun-2012 06:03 pm (UTC)
....Wow, I am legitimately too confused to even be angry. Bzuh?
tigerdreams 13th-Jun-2012 06:04 pm (UTC)
For bisexual women living under the tyranny of sexism, choosing to be lesbian is a liberatory act.

Whether the pressure is coming from mainstream society or a smaller cultural group, caving to social pressure to refrain from enjoying a type of consensual sexual activity that you enjoy is hardly "liberatory." Don't women get enough of people telling them who they shouldn't be sleeping with without this?
softxasxsilence 13th-Jun-2012 06:06 pm (UTC)
you don't see how deciding you don't want to bother with men could be liberating?
closetospring 13th-Jun-2012 06:08 pm (UTC)
just lol at the outraged comments here tbh
softxasxsilence 13th-Jun-2012 06:14 pm (UTC)
there's no social pressure to fuck men this article is outrageous i choose my choice!!!!!!!
moonshaz 13th-Jun-2012 06:17 pm (UTC)
riath 13th-Jun-2012 06:17 pm (UTC)
Ugh, sexuality is not all about who you sleep with dammit!

I may be married to a man and have never actually slept with a woman but that doesn't make me any less bisexual. Wtf is this heap of trash article?
violetrose 13th-Jun-2012 06:19 pm (UTC)
Honestly, I'm still not entirely sure of my sexuality - and I feel I'm leaning more towards women than anything. Particularly due to the fact that men are often fucking misogynistic. For me, it's similar to why I don't like associating with wealthier people, because to me they're just ignorant shitheads most of the time and I can't be bothered with that crap.

However, I'm not going to say I'm a lesbian when I don't feel I am, because that seems very appropriative and insulting to lesbians - women who are more or less exclusively attracted to other women.
mycenaes 13th-Jun-2012 06:30 pm (UTC)
agreed with this comment.

I feel uncomfortable around men (like unsafe uncomfortable sometimes), but I'm still sexually attracted to them as well as being attracted to women, so I say I'm bisexual.

I would love to be able to have a conversation about how women are pretty much taught/trained by society to be always sexually available to men without people insisting that it's erasing bisexuality. This article doesn't seem to be the best (and I seem to recall Bindel being transphobic before--correct me if I'm wrong, though), but it's a start, I guess.
trobadora 13th-Jun-2012 06:19 pm (UTC)
... LOLWHUT?
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