ONTD Political

North Korea Discovers Secret Unicorn Lair

12:26 am - 12/01/2012
In an announcement Friday that seems better suited for a fairy tale, a North Korean state news agency reported that archaeologists recently reconfirmed the lair of a unicorn once ridden by an ancient Korean king.

According to the Korean Central News Agency, the lair the mythical creature is located 200 meters (about 219 yards) from the Yongmyong Temple in Pyongyang. A rock that sits in front of the lair contains carvings that some believe date back to the period of the Koryo Kingdom (918-1392), the outlet notes.

The director of the History Institute of the DPRK Academy of Social Sciences, which discovered the lair, cited Korean history books as proof. Jo Hui Sung explained the history to the paper:

The Sogyong (Pyongyang) chapter of the old book 'Koryo History' (geographical book), said: Ulmil Pavilion is on the top of Mt. Kumsu, with Yongmyong Temple, one of Pyongyang's eight scenic spots, beneath it. The temple served as a relief palace for King Tongmyong, in which there is the lair of his unicorn.

The old book 'Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam' (Revised Handbook of Korean Geography) complied in the 16th century wrote that there is a lair west of Pubyok Pavilion in Mt. Kumsu.

It should be noted that North Korea's propaganda machine is famous for churning out unusual stories, including the details of Kim Jon Il's "divine birth" and the "peculiar natural wonders" that occurred as the Earth mourned the death of the Dear Leader, the Global Post reports.

While still alive, Kim also reportedly invented the hamburger, wrote 1,500 books in college and shot 11 holes-in-one the first time he played golf, according to Time magazine.

On the other hand, unicorn sightings around the world crop up from time to time, including one last January In Canada that was eventually revealed to be a publicity stunt.

Source has been banished to the moon for the past thousand years.

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rkt 1st-Dec-2012 07:12 am (UTC)
On the other hand, unicorn sightings around the world crop up from time to time, including one last January In Canada that was eventually revealed to be a publicity stunt.

canada would.
nesmith 1st-Dec-2012 07:16 am (UTC)
I think the folks who run North Korea must be on one long acid trip.

clevermanka 1st-Dec-2012 02:13 pm (UTC)
And they need to share, seriously. Hogging it all has obviously done some serious damage.
ladyofshalott06 1st-Dec-2012 07:45 am (UTC)
beoweasel 1st-Dec-2012 10:40 am (UTC)
Dragon Age would have been awesome if you could ride a unicorn.
effervescent 1st-Dec-2012 08:23 am (UTC)
Well, you can't blame them for wanting unicorns to exist, admittedly...
rayofblacklight 2nd-Dec-2012 03:47 am (UTC)
+1 :)
alicephilippa 1st-Dec-2012 08:31 am (UTC)

Ah the mighty North Korean News Agency being as reliable as always. I'd rather trust the Foal Free Press.

seishin 2nd-Dec-2012 01:48 am (UTC)
pleasure_past 1st-Dec-2012 10:42 am (UTC)
So at first I thought this was going to be a cool "Hey, look, our mythology has a factual basis in our geography!" thing.

And then I read the whole thing, and now I'm just lol-ing. But I suppose it is useful to know that one should never go golfing with a North Korean dictator.
mysid 1st-Dec-2012 01:03 pm (UTC)
Since golf tradition "requires" that whoever scores a hole-in-one has to buy a round of drinks for everyone back at the clubhouse, that must have been one hell of a party after eleven holes-in-one.
ellonwye 1st-Dec-2012 01:27 pm (UTC)
I take it this time they didn't make the same mistake they made with the carved tree, which was to let real unbiased experts look at it and promptly declare it utter bullshit.
homasse 1st-Dec-2012 02:54 pm (UTC)
North Korea, y'all.

Who needs food; we got mufukkin' unicorns up in here.
mellawe 1st-Dec-2012 06:31 pm (UTC)
Pyongyang Fried Unicorn , problem solved
recorded 1st-Dec-2012 04:00 pm (UTC)
Someone needs to make Kim Jong‑un in the sims 3 pets and make him find a unicorn.
quizzicalsphinx 1st-Dec-2012 06:13 pm (UTC)
On it!
(no subject) - Anonymous
layweed 2nd-Dec-2012 03:40 am (UTC)
mte, unicorn meat doesn't grow on trees, gosh.
missjersey 1st-Dec-2012 05:13 pm (UTC)
Hopefully they don't clone unicorns from DNA and then use their blood :(
othellia 1st-Dec-2012 07:53 pm (UTC)
I wonder if they realize just how much the rest of the world laughs at them...
wrestlingdog 1st-Dec-2012 11:10 pm (UTC)

This is glorious.
seishin 2nd-Dec-2012 01:51 am (UTC)
Source has been banished to the moon for the past thousand years.

wrestlingdog 6th-Dec-2012 05:46 pm (UTC)
hinoema 2nd-Dec-2012 05:23 pm (UTC)
Good article.

Kiringul is one of the sites associated with King Tongmyŏng, the founder of Koguryŏ, an ancient Korean kingdom. The thrust of the North Korean government's announcement is that it claims to have discovered Kiringul, and thus to have proven that Pyongyang is the modern site of the ancient capital of Koguryŏ.

I think it's pretty well accepted that the progenitors of the Koreans came from hte area that's now Mongolia. Koguryo's location is generally more analogous with modern North Korea, however, while the modern South spent more time being controlled by Silla and Paechke.

Anyway, IIRC, the progenitor of modern Korea was Choson, not Koryo. (The class was a year ago, though...)
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