I was innocently flipping through Esquire magazine's May "How to be a Man" edition when I spotted him.
There, on Page 65, among such notables as Bob Dylan, Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.), Chris Rock and James Caan is our very own U.S. Atty. Patrick Fitzgerald, one of the many "manlys" who made Esquire's 2009 "List of Men" ("because just being male doesn't make you a man"). Described as someone who "does his job" and "tells the truth," there he was -- stone-faced Patrick, lovingly etched in this century's computerized version of pen and ink, with this lovely caption: "When Fitzgerald serves you, consider yourself served. He brought down Scooter Libby, Conrad Black, and then Blago. Whither thou goest, Alberto Gonzales, we all hope Fitz goes with thee."
I gushed -- what can I say, I'm a fan and he has many. Here's The New York Times on Dec. 9, in an article that described Fitzgerald as a "folk hero" in "prosecutorial spurs": "It has become a cliche to compare him to Eliot Ness, the Chicago Prohibition agent whom television and movies made into a symbol of incorruptible law enforcement."
I went way back into my archives and dug up this nugget from a piece I wrote in October 2007 when it was, ahem, "leaked" that Patrick "Sexiest Man Alive" Fitzgerald would soon marry: "Patrick's in love and we're in trouble, love's bliss will rose-color his glasses and I foresee a white-collar crime spree while he's on his honeymoon." Thank goodness I was so wrong -- we all now know his passion is putting away bad guys.
For your enjoyment here are a few quotes I'm ripping off from Time magazine, which was kind enough to put them all together in its post-Rod Blagojevich-bust issue, December 2008:
"Do I have zeal? Yes. I don't pretend I don't. If you're not zealous, you shouldn't have the job. Now, sometimes zealous becomes a code word for overzealous, and I don't want to be overzealous. I hope I'm not."
-- On his enthusiasm for the job (Washington Post, Feb. 2, 2005)
"One day I read I was a Republican hack. One day I read I was a Democratic hack. The only thing I did between those two nights was sleep."
-- During his investigation into the leak of CIA operative Valerie Plame's identity (Time, Oct. 30, 2005)
"You're reading tea leaves. Don't. I don't draw a very good tea leaf."
-- Dismissing reporters' questions after announcing his first indictment in the Plame scandal (San Francisco Chronicle, Oct. 29, 2005)
"I've played a lot of practical jokes on people for a lot of years and they all got even at once. OK, new topic!"
-- On being named one of People magazine's "Sexiest Men of 2005" (Chicago Tribune, Nov. 18, 2005)
If you're not getting enough Patrick Fitzgerald in your life, I beg you to go to "From the Desk of Patrick J. Fitzgerald".
I promise you won't be disappointed!
I'm torn because much as I do love PFitz getting national attention again, I don't think he'd appreciate being in the same issue as the "how to swear like a man" article. He could barely get through "bleeping valuable thing", he is far too much of a sweet, clean-cut guy to use phrases like bleep-sniffing bleepsucker. Basically he is TOO GOOD FOR ESQUIRE.
Whatever, I'm just glad to see someone at the Chicago Tribune is a big enough fangirl to get her own editorial. I'm gonna write "fjlfjksklaa; JON FAVREAU l;jfdsklaasdfjkf JON HUNTSMAN jlfds;ka ALSO HOWARD DEAN" and see if I can get published too.