Jenny Sanford (right) and SCGOP chair Karen Floyd are both outspoken opponents of gay marriage.
Jenny Sanford (right) and SC GOP chair Karen Floyd are both outspoken opponents of gay marriage.
“Of course I’m not saying that Mark is gay,” Sanford said, “but he may as well be. The moral decay in this country has claimed another victim and this time it was my family. Our marriage was perfect until these laws started passing around the country. Clearly the slow dissolution of the sanctity of marriage in America seeped into Mark’s psyche until he no longer felt compelled to abide by our vows.”
Social conservatives were quick to show their support for the first lady’s statement.
“It’s finally happened,” said Rush Limbaugh, conservative radio personality. “America, I’ve been warning you for years that gay marriage would destroy the American family and look… there they are, a husband, wife, and four children — destroyed. When is this going to stop America? When will the liberals be satisfied? When all the marriages break up? This wasn’t Mark Sanford’s fault, this was Ted Kennedy’s fault. Sanford didn’t cheapen the value of marriage, he was victimized by the cheapening of marriage.”
Governor Sanford was unavailable for comment, but his office issued a statement saying “we’re not commenting on any of the first lady’s statements, but we like where she’s going with this.”
Progressive commentators were less taken with Mrs. Sanford’s comments.
“Unless he was flying to Vermont with Lindsey Graham, gay marriage had nothing to do with this,” said MSNBC commentator Keith Olberman. “Yet again the right wing has a ’sinner’ in their midst and yet again they’re trying to deflect the blame and put it at the feet of Democrats, homosexuals, and I’m sure the Hollywood elite and the so-called ‘Main Stream Media’ will figure in to it before their done. Jenny Sanford, you are the worst person in the world.”
Asked if this newly determined source of their marital problems would impact their chances of reconcilation, Mrs. Sanford was somewhat evasive.
“In the end, he is the one who is going to hell and we’re going to have to work through that, but make no mistake, this whole affair can be traced back to the liberals in Washington. We may not be able to save our marriage, but it’s not too late for the rest of America. Say no to gay marriage — the marriage you save might be your own.”
As one commenter put it, the Republican Party has come full circle to where this sort of parody is believable.
Also, source, because I fail like that.