Trashquisitor Shirozora (shirozora) wrote in ontd_political,
Trashquisitor Shirozora

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Nation, can you tell which one of us is the *real* Stephen Colbert?

Do You Really Think You're That Funny, Stephen Colbert?

Yes, I’m in on the joke. The Colbert Report fake news show is satire. He’s mocking Republicans, Christians, Pro-Lifers, those who believe in the sanctity of marriage and anyone else who doesn’t memorize Rahm Emmanuel’s daily talking points. He pretends to be a Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly all rolled into one muscled and charming package, while snickering like some mud-smeared child behind the schoolyard jungle gym with his fellow travelers– Jon Stewart, Conan O’Brien and Tina Fey. News reader Keith Olbermann cries his way through the anarchist democrat worldview coherently enough for most common Americans to get a taste of how wrongheaded these proto-socialists of the left can be. But Stephen Colbert’s real danger is that he hides behind parody, never revealing his genuine intentions or emotions . The only thing he teaches is contempt. So journalists like me (let alone the rest of you) have a hard time understanding and rebutting his true values. To most, his parody is unimpeachable and no newsman has dared take down this sanctimonious, vile-tongued hairdo for what he really is.

Well, hold on to your keyboards America because today I’m going to do precisely that!

Let me state this very clearly: Stephen Colbert represents one of the most dangerous trends in America next to Islamic terrorism today! He is slipping a deadly tonic of anarchy and immorality to our children. His nightly show is like an Al Qaeda training camp, indoctrinating fragile minds into a fanatical hatred of American values and arming them with the doublespeak, laziness and opportunism to destroy this country’s economic and moral foundation. Materialism is his Lord, not spirituality, nor any commitment to bettering this country. And Colbert’s need for media attention and control over the young is insatiable.

Mr. Colbert broke into television as the painfully homosexual high school teacher in Strangers With Candy, starring race-baiter Amy Sedaris, a real life pot-smoking former Lesbian prostitute. The show was a buffet dinner of neurotic depravity that sadly found comedy in sexually transmitted diseases, rape, aging, racism, lesbianism, mental illness, Native Americans and more. From there, he joined pundit-perennially-never-ready-for-primetime Jon Stewart as an uptight news reporter. His man of the street interviews were sickly, almost Candid Camera meets Tucker Carlson meets Richard Simmons. They were childish and salacious. Did he ever shed a tear for all those poor ordinary Americans he tricked into making fools of themselves on camera? No, the man only lusts for more televised attention.

When Colbert was introduced to President George W. Bush a few years back, he took the opportunity to grab the podium and turn the spotlight on himself, unleashing a 20-minute tirade of unprofessional and unfunny insults at the President and his wonderful wife, Laura. The two, so incredibly sophisticated and kind, nervously smiled but died a little inside as the night wore on and on and on. It was a truly inappropriate speech and the audience of journalists was filled with scowls and then outright booing. The next day, the liberal world press roundly condemned the so-called comic for his un-American media whoring.

This TV talker even claims to be a man of the Catholic faith, but shows such disrespect for the institution of Christianity and his very own Papal leader, that this is quite possibly another lame joke. In light of the tremendous problems facing that particular church which is ripe with homosexuality and rape in its ranks, he shows zero compassion. He just loves kicking the old dog when it’s down. As long as the cameras are on, that is.

Frighteningly enough, Stephen Colbert is now using his television show The Colbert Report as a platform to foist his liberal and self-aggrandizing views on the country. He has derided the free speech of people who have been invited to share their thoughts at the health care town halls, he enjoyed public drunkenness with homosexual democrat Congressman Jared Polis, he had frank discussions about cocaine use with democrat Congressman Rob Wexler, he went to Iraq to advocate directly to the troops for overtly homosexual servicemen, he tongue-baths every liberal academic with a poorly written book who slithers onto his set, he mocks Black people saying don’t care about race, and he has never once supported the War on Terror.

Also, and this begs a larger question concerning the propriety of the attention he pays to young people, Colbert likes to drink beer and eats chips on his show. Is this some pathetic act of solidarity with his stoned-out-of-their-minds college student audience (who is decades younger than him, by the way). Or does it reveal a deeper character flaw, a lustful need to surround himself with children? Michael Jackson is another celebrity who argued that there was nothing wrong with this type of behavior, giving kids toys, Jesus Juice and a lot of attention. I should say for now we must give Stephen Colbert the benefit of the doubt. He has not yet been formally questioned or charged regarding this and it could be just another phase of his megalomania.

In interviews and on the show, Colbert professes to have invented the type of parody comedy he performs. But critics universally point to George Carlin, the man who taught Generation X to be sarcastic and rude to their parents. Colbert’s work is not even that original. He would be nowhere if Limbaugh, O’Reilly and Coulter had not become so important and famous in today’s political arena. They paved the way for this coat-tail-riding one-trick pony.

Over the last few years, Colbert has subtly been building a cult of personality, Stalin-style! With trinkets, books (remember Mao’s Little Red Book anyone? Anyone?) and artwork. The paintings he has commissioned, much like the ones we saw of Saddam Hussein all over Iraq, portray him as an iconic and heroic figure, draped in the flag and representing some great promise for America. Well, I’ll tell you, Adolph Hitler promised a whole lot to Germany. Anyone remember how that ended? America’s youths don’t… Cults of Personality are always dangerous, they try to get people to disregard the real issues and throw their unbridled and sexualized devotion behind one man, no matter what rabbit hole he may lead them down. Much like Timothy Leary, he has spiked the nation’s water and is leading our children, as innocent as Alice, into a world of evil queens, Mad Hatters and Tweedledums (homosexuals, socialists and weak-minded liberals). You may laugh at his jokes now, but where will we be as a nation when the children force-fed Stephen Colbert’s nasty demagoguery of deception grow up? How will that generation look at the responsibilities of being an American in the age of global terror and overpopulation when all they have been taught to do is lie and snicker?

By Stephenson Billings

LOLtastic Sauce can be found here.

The author pretty much highlighted all the hilarious bits himself, so I only underlined the stuff that he missed. You have to read the whole thing; it's just insane. I was laughing so hard I cried while trying to find the most LOLtastic parts.

EDIT: Attention, everyone! According to
this, we may have been played. But no matter, because some people take it seriously anyway. For the lulz!
Tags: stephen colbert

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