Many political analysts and pollsters have been noticing the growing number of citizens reporting Obama Voters Remorse, or OVR. Americans experiencing OVR report symptoms such as job loss, savings evaporation, hypocrisy exhaustion, national-debt insomnia and global-warming skepticism.
Yet the most significant political news may be that Obama Voters Remorse is rarely found in a certain substrata of the population, our "political elites," who instead exhibit symptoms of a new epiphenomenon known as Obama Stockholm Syndrome. Persons experiencing OSS display a compulsive and irrational need to reaffirm their vote for Obama no matter what happens in the real world. Thus, they are curiously immune to attacks of Obama Voters Remorse.
The demographic differences in the two groups are extraordinary.
While Obama Voters Remorse has been detected across diverse segments of American society, from construction workers in the Mountain West, senior-citizen retirees in the South and soccer moms in Pennsylvania, the symptoms of Obama Stockholm Syndrome are confined almost entirely to four insular populations. OSS is most likely to be found among university faculty clubs, mainstream-media newsrooms, windmill-farm technicians and Hollywood celebrities. Nevertheless, OSS can strike anywhere the New York Times is sold.
The following list of the 10 most common OSS symptoms may help concerned citizens recognize this affliction in friends or relatives and assess the seriousness of the condition. Treatment and rehabilitation are possible if the disease has not progressed to Stage Four.
The afflicted person should be asked to agree or disagree with each of the following 10 statements, with one to five points awarded depending on the degree of agreement with the statement. Appropriate treatment will be based on the person's score on a scale from 10 to 50 points.
1. You believe that the Obama bumper sticker on your Prius automatically extends its warranty to the year 2016.
2. You think Obama should have won the Nobel Prize in Philanthropy for giving away other people's money.
3. You believe that the 1.5 million people who protested excessive government spending on the Capitol Mall on Sept. 12 were all part of a vast right-wing conspiracy.
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