Sérieux Écrivaine des bande dessinées sérieux (ameonna) wrote in ontd_political,
Sérieux Écrivaine des bande dessinées sérieux
ameonna
ontd_political

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Yeah, this sounds right.

They are paid a fortune for their ability to make complex decisions about where to invest millions of pounds every single day.

But perhaps the job of an investment banker is not quite as difficult as it might seem.

A chimpanzee in Russia has out-performed 94 per cent of the country's investment funds with her portfolio growing by three times in the last year.


Moscow TV reported how circus chimp Lusha chose eight companies from a possible 30 to invest her one million roubles - around £21,000.

Lusha the monkey in her stage act for a Moscow circus. Lusha has outperformed almost all of Russia's investment funds with her stock picks.

'She bought successfully and her portfolio grew almost three times. She did better than almost the whole of the rest of the market,' said editor of Russian Finance magazine Oleg Anisimov.

He questioned why so-called financial whizz-kids are still receiving hefty perks for their expertise .

'Everyone is shocked. What are they getting their bonuses for? Maybe it's worth sending them all to the circus.'

The money-wise ape was given cubes representing different companies and asked: 'Lusha where would you like to invest your money this year?'

Pausing briefly to think, she then picked out her eight cubes.

Lusha's top picks included banks where shares soon rose a stunning 600 per cent after large-scale support from the Kremlin to weather the crisis.

She missed out on telecommunications which scored a 240 per cent profit, but went for mining companies, up 150 per cent.

The Russian media heaped more scorn on the investment experts saying: 'Lusha made all serious analysts look like clowns.'

One broker hit back: 'If the experiment had taken place a year earlier, the monkey would not have had enough money to pay for her bananas.'

And her trainer Svetlana Maksimova admitted: 'Money questions should be decided by financiers and politicians. If monkeys get into it, our economy will collapse at once.'

But Pavel Trunin, the head of monetary policy department at the Institute for the Economy in Transition in Moscow, said enviously: 'It shows that financial knowledge does not play a great role in giving forecasts to how the market will change.

'It is usually a matter of more or less successful guessing. And the monkey got lucky.' The monkey, owned by legendary Russian trainer Lev Dorov, split her investments between state-owned corporations and private companies.

Source has started working on Shakespeare, starting with "A Comedy of Errors."

I heard about this on NPR's Wait Wait first.

Also, you guys, the Daily Fail needs a copy editor. I fixed a bunch of typos from the source while I was bolding, and wondered if they had Lusha type up the article, 'cause, seriously, pathetic.
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