Did You ‘Restore Honor’ (Have Secret Gay Sex) at GlennBeckPalooza?
Four score and seven years ago, our Founding Fathers created Craigslist so that horny wingnut dudes could hook up for spontaneous sexual encounters in the nation’s capital, while Defending Liberty. And over the weekend, some patriots acknowledged the Fathers’ hard work and ingenuity, and used Craigslist to try and Restore each others’ Honor with their penises. Let’s learn about marketing!
We start things off with our photo model, who was willing to “blow anyone who needs” what he calls “head,” whatever that means. Color somebody distracted — didn’t this soldier have a culture war to fight? Yes, but a man has needs. He chose to meet his suitors in a “dark portajohn,” which means he must be a writer of historical romance novels:
Because we are having “technical difficulties” that are making it impossible to reproduce some of these ads in any readable manner, here’s the text:
Sitting on grass waiting for restoring honor rally. Want to do my patriotic duty and blow anyone who needs head. In dark portajohn or in dark area of the park. I’m 34 years old 6’3 tall and 240lbs. Stocky build. This Ad is good until sunrise.
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I thought this was hilarious and had to share with you guys. I have no idea what to tag this with, unless there's a "conservative gay scandal" tag. Which there should be.