House Majority Leader Eric Cantor's attempt to sneak in some tongue action with Nancy Pelosi at tonight's State of the Union has backfired, terribly. Did he think Pelosi wouldn't already have a "date" lined up? Get it together, Eric Cantor.
Members of Congress are scrambling for dates across the aisle to tonight's optional Congressional Prom. We'd like to thank them for embracing their roles as anxious nerd teenagers desperate for love, or even basic approval, at long last. One Republican congressman has even labeled himself "ugly" after a rejection. He's seriously depressed about this. This congressional date gossip is just writing itself, no? The Hill reports on the Pelosi/Cantor situation:
House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.) invited Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) to sit next to him at the State of the Union address - but the former House Speaker says she's already committed.
"I thank @GOPLeader for his #SOTU offer, but I invited my friend Rep. [Roscoe] Bartlett from MD yesterday & am pleased he accepted," Pelosi tweeted.
The invitation from Cantor was made Monday evening through staffers for the two leaders, spokesman Brad Dayspring said.
Wow, she just had to embarrass young Eric Cantor publicly with her rejection! And let's not pretend that "I already have a date to the dance" doesn't count as a flat-out rejection. It does. It's just an excuse, and we all know this. Terrible memories, all flooding back...
Anyway, Rep. Roscoe Bartlett, who'd already agreed to go with Rep. Judy Chu, is too excited now:
"I look forward to sitting between two lovely ladies, Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi and Congresswoman Judy Chu (D-Calif.), at tonight's State of the Union speech," Bartlett said in a statement.
Washington is beyond fucked up.
I will be counting the Mean Girls references in the comments, and if they make up less than a third, I will be severly disappointed.