Jim Newell - Chicago's likely new mayor, former White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel, is well aware of his Twitter impersonator, MayorEmanuel, and wants to know the motherfucker's real identity. And he'll pay to find out.
The mysterious typist behind MayorEmanuel registered the account shortly after Emanuel left the White House to run for mayor of Chicago, the primary for which is next Tuesday. The account follows him on the campaign trail by approximating his inner monologue. A sample sequence from yesterday:
- Motherfucking coffee, you're all I fucking need today.
- 50 Wards, 50 hours. Whoever the fuck thought of this is most definitely going on the cock-punch list.
- I just visited my hundredth motherfucking El stop. One fucking week more of this shit and then all the pain goes away.
- This would be a lot more tolerable if it was 50 wards in 50 minutes. Just gun the fucking Civic and fly through all of them.
- Upside of this fucking 50 Wards concept: Pretty much every goddamn stop is a coffee shop. 50 motherfucking cups, let's go.
Because Rahm Emanuel is famous for cursing! Now you get it.
Fortunately for this tweeter, Emanuel won't resort directly to beating him or her with a lead pipe when he finds out who it is. He has a peace offering first. From HuffPo:
"After the election, I am offering a donation to the charity of that gentleman or woman's choice if they would come forward and identify themselves," Emanuel said on the show.
Emanuel said he would offer a $2,500 or $5,000 "personal contribution" to the charity of that individual's choice if they identify themselves publicly. He also said the tweets always make him smile.
Charity! Who gives a crap about charity? Rahm Emanuel should be cynical enough to know that you have to pay off the source directly. This is called "monetizing the Internet."