ONTD Political

New "Beauty Product" Marketed In India Allows Women To Bleach Their Vag... WTF?

9:48 pm - 04/16/2012

Your Vagina Isn’t Just Too Big, Too Floppy, and Too
Hairy—It’s Also Too Brown

By Lindy WestApr 11, 2012 12:40 PM

Good news, ladies! Society has discovered another new thing that's wrong with you, which means another opportunity for you to make yourself more attractive for your man. Score! Turns out, the color of your vagina is gross and everyone hates it. So bleach that motherfucker. Bleach it right now!

In this commercial for an Indian product called Clean and Dry Intimate Wash, a (very light-skinned) couple sits down for what would have been a peaceful cup of morning coffee—if the woman's disgusting brown vagina hadn't ruined everything! The dude can't even bring himself look at her. He can't look at his coffee either, because it only reminds him of his wife's dripping, coffee-brown hole! Fortunately, the quick-thinking woman takes a shower, scrubbing her swarthy snatch with Clean and Dry Intimate Wash ("Freshness + Fairness"). And poof! Her vadge comes out blinding white like a downy baby lamb (and NOT THE GROSS BLACK KIND) and her husband—whose penis, I can only assume, is literally a light saber—is all, "Hey, lady! Cancel them divorce papers and LET'S BONE."

(video link)

Needless to say, certain citizens are troubled by this product—which, in addition to just being fucking insane, brings up painful issues about the hierarchy of skin tone within the Indian community. As if it isn't bad enough that darker-skinned people are encouraged to stay out of the sun and invest in skin-bleaching products like Fair & Lovely, and that white actresses are being imported to play Indian people in Bollywood movies, now everyone has to be insecure about the fact that their vaginas happen to be the color that vaginas are??? Splendid! God, I was just saying the other day that my misogyny didn't have enough racism in it. So what are the pro-vadge-bleaching people thinking? Here's a hilarious explanation from a male ad exec:

It is hard to deny that fairness creams often get social commentators and activists all worked up. What they should do is take a deep breath and think again. Lipstick is used to make your lips redder, fairness cream is used to make you fairer-so what's the problem? I don't think any Youngistani today thinks the British Raj/White man is superior to us Brown folk. That's all 1947 thinking!

The only reason I can offer for why people like fairness, is this: if you have two beautiful girls, one of them fair and the other dark, you see the fair girl's features more clearly. This is because her complexion reflects more light. I found this amazing difference when I directed Kabir Bedi, who is very fair and had to wear dark makeup for Othello, the Black hero of the play. I found I had to have a special spotlight following Kabir around the stage because otherwise the audience could not see his expressions.

See? It makes perfect sense. We just want our vaginas to reflect more light—is that so wrong? I mean, WHAT IF MY CAR BREAKS DOWN AT NIGHT AND I DON'T HAVE A REFLECTIVE ENOUGH VAGINA? Really, the ultimate one-vagina-to-rule-them-all would glow in the dark like one of those deep-sea fishes. I need my vagina to attract more krill so my husband will fuck me again! (My husband is a whale.)

Basically the idea is to get as far away as possible from any color that vaginas actually come in. Because that's what's at the heart of this type of thinking—the perfect vagina would be something that's not a vagina at all.
Article is satirical, but the subject matter it is commenting on is very real. This is not a "The Onion" style made-up piece.
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chaya 16th-Apr-2012 08:53 pm (UTC)
labelleizzy 16th-Apr-2012 09:49 pm (UTC)
scolaro 16th-Apr-2012 08:56 pm (UTC)
Not enough Intimate Wash in the world to scrub out my eyes after this...
eternalxflower 16th-Apr-2012 11:58 pm (UTC)
ravewalker 16th-Apr-2012 08:59 pm (UTC)
lonely_hour 18th-Apr-2012 06:38 am (UTC)
+10000000000 for alois icon

and that was basically how my face was too.
renishas 16th-Apr-2012 08:59 pm (UTC)
Sounds like a good way to get an infection.
chaya 16th-Apr-2012 09:07 pm (UTC)
Or perhaps even to give yourself serious burns. I don't see what the active ingredient could be in this other than diluted bleach.
mollywobbles867 16th-Apr-2012 09:15 pm (UTC)
It makes me sad how many women are ashamed of their vulvas for one reason or another. I would blame porn, but I've seen a lot of non-"perfect" vulvas in porn. I think it's that the vulvas in art are pretty uniform? Idk.
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intrikate88 16th-Apr-2012 09:16 pm (UTC)
I am just hung up on the fact that one of the basic holy rules of ever bleaching or lightening anything whatsoever is DO NOT GET THIS IN OR NEAR YOUR VAGINA OR EXTREMELY BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN. It's like seeing an ad for the drinkable version of Drano.
maynardsong 16th-Apr-2012 09:27 pm (UTC)
It's like seeing an ad for the drinkable version of Drano.
adalmin 16th-Apr-2012 09:20 pm (UTC)
It's not unique to India either.

As a darker-skinned Southeast Asian this post cuts me to the core. Attitudes like that were prevalent in SE Asia when I was growing up, and now that I've moved to the US it's still pretty damn invasive and oppressive.
angelofdeath275 16th-Apr-2012 10:30 pm (UTC)
over here bleaching creams are marketed to black and brown folk. I've even seen it at walmart.
iolarah 16th-Apr-2012 09:24 pm (UTC)
Dear Ad Exec: You put that shit on the head of your penis and leave it there for a bit, -then- come tell me it's no different than lipstick. 'Kay?
callmepatsy 16th-Apr-2012 09:27 pm (UTC)
Of all the appearance-related things I am insecure about, this is the last one that would occur to me...
miss_almost 16th-Apr-2012 10:08 pm (UTC)

by the time someones going to be seeing that part of me in a sexual context, i figure they like me enough not to care what color my vulva is.

also, maybe I'm a prude....but it usually takes a few times for me to have sex with the lights on enough for my partner to really see what color/tint my vulva is.
kitanabychoice 16th-Apr-2012 09:36 pm (UTC)
that fucking explanation of choosing a "fair" women over a "darker" woman just blows my fucking mind. what fucking features can you not see? I call bullshit.

also, if men cannot handle the vagina as it is, maybe they need to stop trying to put their penises in them. just saying.
skellington1 16th-Apr-2012 09:42 pm (UTC)
What the actual fuck.

Feeling insecure because you're surrounded by douches? Clearly you need to put caustic chemicals in the most sensitive areas of your body. It'll be great!

Also, Mr Ad Exec, among your vast panoply of character flaws, you're also painfully unobservant if you think a person wearing 'dark makeup' is visually equivalent to a person who is naturally dark skinned.
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jennifer0246 16th-Apr-2012 09:52 pm (UTC)
vulvas. they're talking about vulvas. get your misogyny anatomically correct, pls & ty.

Edited at 2012-04-16 09:52 pm (UTC)
angelofdeath275 16th-Apr-2012 10:18 pm (UTC)
the very least of their problems.
etherealtsuki 16th-Apr-2012 09:53 pm (UTC)
Crossing my legs and grimacing right now.

How in the ever loving fuck is this shit okay?!?

Seriously fuck bleachers and anyone who endorses this shit.

/proud dark-skinned Black woman
apis_cerana 16th-Apr-2012 10:14 pm (UTC)
if you have two beautiful girls, one of them fair and the other dark, you see the fair girl's features more clearly. This is because her complexion reflects more light.

per_simmon 17th-Apr-2012 11:04 am (UTC)
A+ gif.
angelofdeath275 16th-Apr-2012 10:17 pm (UTC)
Fucking colonialist colorist bullshit plaguing so many fucking countries
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