ONTD Political

Where's the Politics in Sex?

3:27 pm - 06/13/2012

What makes some of us uncomfortable with bisexual women? It is because we think they're either lesbians having straight sex or straight women testing out their fantasies on us before returning to men?

In today's post-modern, queer-focused world, bisexuality is being promoted to lesbians as the latest fashionable trend. This has resulted in lesbian politics, namely feminism, being passed over for sexual hedonism, where the only thing that matters is sexual pleasure and desire. Similarly, bisexuality is sold to heterosexual women as some type of recreational activity far from their "natural home" of straight sex. It is seen as "temporary lesbianism."

It is more à la mode to have sex with a man if you are a lesbian than if you're a straight woman, who is merely doing what she is expected to do "naturally." Lesbians having heterosexual sex are seen as transgressive, when in fact they are simply reverting to a traditional way of being a woman. For a straight woman, having a girlfriend on the side is almost like having the latest Prada handbag.

Camille Paglia, the most famous "anti-lesbian lesbian," has written reams about how she worships the penis and cannot understand those of us who do not. In fact Paglia, like many lesbian tourists who sleep with women on the weekend and go back to hubby on Monday morning, thinks lesbian sex needs to be "spiced up" by the odd "het" shag:

Women, I think, are naturally bisexual. You know I'm not telling lesbians to stop sleeping only with women, but to leave open a part of the brain toward men and accept male lust and find men extremely attractive and get horny in relation to men and ogle their bodies and do something with them, then sex with women will be hotter.

Has Paglia internalized so much anti-lesbian oppression that she, too, thinks that all lesbians need is a good bit of heterosexual-style shagging?

But many lesbians, and even bisexual women themselves, mistrust the concept of swinging both ways. One U.S. study of bisexuality, which draws on interviews with 400 self-identified lesbians and bisexual women, found that a substantial number of bisexuals prefer to hang out with lesbians instead of other bisexual women in social situations, and have greater political trust in lesbians than they do in other bisexual women. It was also found that "[s]ome bisexual women actually doubt whether bisexual women exist at all."

Whatever our views and politics about lesbianism may be, we cannot deny that women face compulsory heterosexuality from birth. Despite huge progress since I came out in 1977, it is still not really acceptable to reject men and choose not to live under their guardianship, whether you are in Saudi Arabia or the U.K.

When I write about making a positive choice to be a lesbian, and that I believe there is no gay (or for that matter bisexual) "gene," I am accused of being an ideological robot and therefore not genuinely sexually attracted to women. That is nonsense. I personally feel that straight women are missing out on the best sex on the planet, but that is their choice.

If we put aside lesbian feminism, the way most people approach sexuality is that they think we are straight, gay, or attracted to both sexes. For bisexual women living under the tyranny of sexism, choosing to be lesbian is a liberatory act.

Those of us who grew up in a time and context where there was a political analysis of sexuality were able to make a positive choice to be a lesbian. I believed then, and I believe now, that if bisexual women had an ounce of sexual politics, they would stop sleeping with men.

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/julie-bindel/where-is-the-politics-in-_b_1589435.html?utm_hp_ref=two
korinna 13th-Jun-2012 07:17 pm (UTC)
Umm... all of it? You are having a knee jerk reaction to a lesbian pointing out that men are the enemy re: another user saying "men are not the enemy, misogyny is." Men are the enemy. That's all she said. You're reading into it.

Edited at 2012-06-13 07:18 pm (UTC)
spiffynamehere 13th-Jun-2012 07:20 pm (UTC)
Misogyny IS the enemy. Men started it, men perpetrate it, men benefit from it, but men are not the enemy point-blank, and it is not helpful at all to act like they are.
korinna 13th-Jun-2012 07:27 pm (UTC)
Why are men - who perpetuate sexism - not the enemy point-blank? Would you argue this re: other oppressed groups, or is this just true when it comes to sexism?
spiffynamehere 13th-Jun-2012 07:31 pm (UTC)
I would, actually. If you magically removed men from the world, then there would still be misogyny, because there would still be all the women who were taught it and internalized it and will likely pass it on. Think of it as a disease. You don't attack a disease by shooting everyone who has it. You attack it by cures, inoculations, and generally targeting the disease itself. Claiming men are the sole enemy and everything you should focus on is not going to make misogyny go away.
rex_dart 13th-Jun-2012 07:37 pm (UTC)
Misogyny is not equivalent to a virus. Misogyny is equivalent to a gun. Please revise your comparison.
spiffynamehere 13th-Jun-2012 10:01 pm (UTC)
This comment says it much better than I did.
korinna 13th-Jun-2012 09:34 pm (UTC)
I feel like contemporary Internet feminism forgets that women are more likely to be killed by their husbands or male partners than they are by anyone else, or that rape and other forms of sexual violence are committed most often by men (whether the victim is a woman, a child, or another man). Men primarily traffic women and children, domestically and globally, so other men can obtain sex. Something like 90% of murder-suicides are committed by men. Men are the majority of stalkers. Even something like the online harassment of women and girls is dominated by men. All of this happens because many men consider women and girls subhuman, and because even more of them consider us just extensions of themselves -- human, maybe, but still possessions. They know what they do is wrong and they do not care. Targeting men for their crimes does help -- and focusing on them specifically, and creating resources for women who have been exploited by men in various ways, will have (and does have) a material effect that's much greater than the effect of impotently bemoaning a faceless version of misogyny.

Women who sleep with men - and I'm among them - shouldn't think it's terrible or wrong to consider men our enemies, because... hey, as a group? They are. It sucks that it's the case, but in and of itself, the "claim" that men are the enemy does not pass judgment on women who are straight or bisexual. Really.
softxasxsilence 13th-Jun-2012 09:38 pm (UTC)
i love this comment
moonbrightnites 13th-Jun-2012 10:19 pm (UTC)
Yes, this.
andmydog 14th-Jun-2012 04:25 am (UTC)
This is a good comment, regardless of what others are telling you, and a good analogy.
closetospring 13th-Jun-2012 10:01 pm (UTC)
this is ridiculous. misogyny is absolutely harmful, but it does not exist by itself. who it's used by matters greatly. if someone buys a gun and shoots me with a gun, the gun is not my enemy. the person who chose to buy it and harm me with it is.
spiffynamehere 13th-Jun-2012 07:24 pm (UTC)
P.S. The point of reading is reading into the text.

And gee, I can't think why, as a bisexual woman. I would be emotionally distraught about people telling me my sexuality is politically-based and 'oh well, have fun sleeping with the enemy'. Or pissed off because a post about people twisting bisexuality around into weapons against women of pretty much all sexualities by fetishizing and politicizing it. It's a MYSTERY.
korinna 13th-Jun-2012 07:28 pm (UTC)
Yes, and people can read things wrongly... which you did.

I'm also bisexual and I don't really care about your sob story. Go play some video games with your boyfriend.
queenbathory 14th-Jun-2012 01:54 am (UTC)
This page was loaded Apr 22nd 2018, 10:42 am GMT.